2!!

My blog turned 2 yesterday!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOGGIEEE (sad name... sorry dear)

May you hear my rants for many more years to come

Poetry unlimited

Hey guys,

I've started a new blog for poetry alone..

in tumblr

Please visit and follow it too if you like it :)

http://thewolfscriptures.tumblr.com

Oh btw, you can't comment there so if u have anything to say keep this window open and comment here :)

Thanks

Will upload my older ones there soon...

Perils of a rainy morning

6:45 - Alarm rings. Damn its dark! Must have set the alarm to 3 instead of 6. Shut up you stupid thing!! There! Now SHUT UP! Where was i? Oh yes.... as i was saying....z..z..z.z.z.z.

7:45 - What? Where's the damn phone? Why didn't it ring? WHAATTT!!?!?!??! ITS FREAKING 7 45?!?!??!?!?!?! YOU STUPID ALARM WHY DIDN'T YOU RING. Oops.. i switched it off :P Ok i have 45 minutes to get ready and reach college, which is ironically 45 minutes away.. Ahem...

8:00 - z.z..z...z...z....Z..Z..Z.. .AHHHH! I hate you sunlight!?!?! What? its 8 am!?!?!??! Omg!!!!

8:05 - Ouch!! Stupid pants.. always tripping me... i swear im going to cut you guys to size... and have nothing nice to wear for the rest of my life.... hmmm

8: 08 - Where's my coffeee!??!?! Why the hell is it in the fridge? I know i said i like cold coffee but this is ridiculous!! Dad!!!! What? You thought i was taking off? Can i? No? ok :(

8:12 - I will pay only Rs. 2o to the station? Its raining? Yeah i know its raining!! I'm not blind!! What? rains use up ur petrol? HOW THE HELL IS THAT POSSIBLE?

8:15 - Hey whre's my change? I gave u a 50. You don't have change? Well whoever said u could keep the 50... i would so love to take your 50.. gimme back the money you moron!! Yeah, i have change! Why didn't i give it earlier? Because, you moron, u nodded your head like a buffalo when i asked u if u had change..

8: 17 - Bleddy train station leaks. Omg! I think i just took an another shower!! Ugh!!!

8: 20 - *hums* Train train, come again, i missed the last one wading in ankle deep water in vain.

8: 23 - Ahh! Train... sweet mother of god!! Look at the damn crowd... hold on... HOLD ON!!!!! Excuse me miss, could you please move yourself from the damn entrance so that i can get in? Thank you...

8:30 - There... now all i have to do is go on that bridge, down that muddy lane that has flooded, turn right into another lake, wade through it and i'm done! Phew! C'mon girl..

8 : 35 - YOu!! cow!! Move!! No no, not mooooooo, MOOOVVVVEEEEEEE! Where the hell did you learn to speak?

8:38 - Stupid boy on the bike, can't you gimme a lift? Who am i ? Your mother-in-law in ur last birth.. kick it sonny!

8:45 - Don't close the gate! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm a student!!!! What?? i'm just soaked to the bone and my legs look like they've never seen daylight. Otherwise i'm very fine.. Now quit yapping and let me in..

8:50 - I hate life. I hate this place. I hate everyone. I hate you. I hate me. I hate you rain *shows fist at rain for dramatic effect* Bleddy guy now tells me college is cancelled due to rain....

A child's dream

My 9-year-old niece wanted me to write a poem for her class on 'A child's dream'. Writing the poem was not the tough part but making it sound like a 9-yr-olds was. I couldn't use fancy poetry words :P Had to use normal english (whatever happened to poetic license? :( ) Anyway... this is what i came up with in 10 mins because that was all the time she would gimme!! Tell me if it sounds even remotely like a kid wrote it..

:)

I look up to the sky,

How it would be to fly.

I run along a narrow stream,

But these are just mere dreams.

I see a girl in a pretty red dress,

My own dirty shirt, full of dirt, never pressed.

Night and day i work and make toys,

But i could never play with one, though i am just a 6-year-old-boy.

Someday i wish to go to school,

Where books will be my only tools.

A smile will for the first time come on my face,

The pain will vanish without a trace.

When i was a 5-year-old

I was gently woken up by a father who fed me a glass of milk in my sleep everyday because i wouldn't drink it if i was awake...

I was put back to sleep but sometimes i would just snuggle up to him after my lactose dose and he would patiently hold me till i woke up again... i could never find a better huggsie...

I found myself being lifted to the bathroom where a brush would be put into my mouth and as i swaggered like a drunkard, he would kneel behind me so that i could lean on him and brush...

Waiting impatiently as he brought my school uniform, i would lift my hands so that he could dress me up. He would then tie my belt, slip my tiny feet through socks and put my shoes on.. all the while my feet would be dangling furiously to some unknown tune, trying to get away from his hands...

My tiffen-box would be ready by the time i got to the table and my books packed into my bag according to the day's timetable. All i had to was slip my bag on and take the lunch basket. It would be carefully laid with a miniature lunch carrier, a towel, a floor mat, a water bottle and a spoon. On the days he missed the spoon or the mat i would get irritated.. couldn't he get something so simple right?

He would get on his bike and lift me up on the front. I loved riding in the front of the bike. it made me feel like i was driving and i would place my hands over his on the handle bar and make sounds as we made our way to school...

Once there, he would put me down and carry my bag and lunch basket till the entrance and then help me put them on.. As i walked in, i would turn everyday and find him standing there till i disappeared into the room. On days he had to leave urgently, i would know and not look back, afraid that he wouldn't be there...

After class, i would walk out to find him there already, standing away from everyone else, looking for his child.. I would sometimes just stand away and make him wait a long time to see if he'd leave... sometimes i'd stand behind him but never tell him i was there just to see what he'd do in a while... but he'd just wait... until i felt bad and joined him again...

After i reached home he would take my books out and see what i'd done... There would remarks about my bad handwriting, marks from a class test, some stars or some comments, exercises and homework.

As i ate lunch, he would decide what needed to be done for the day and draw up a working schedule...

I would spend afternoons learning to cycle.

He would come down and help me. Sometimes run behind me, carry me home when i hurt myself, getting me extra wheels for support, teaching me to ride without them, teaching me how to fly....

The evenings i spent finishing homework, studying for tests and writing on cursive handwriting notebooks (which i hate doing till date) .. he would sit next to me the whole time helping.. his hand over mine, guiding me through the lines of the alphabets.. i wouldn't realize it was 6 30 p.m until he would get up to leave.. and then would end my study hour.

When he left for work at 7, i was allowed to play again... and slowly.. the day would close..

Dinner would be given as i watched tv, but only on rare cases would he feed me... mostly he'd just walk around like an over-protective mother seeing if i ate the vegetables, if i had enough rice, if the food was ok, if i was full, if i needed anything else... (he still does that :) )

I didn't have a worry in the world... someone took care of it all :)

As 10 pm dawned, i was ushered into the bed room where i changed into night clothes that he already already taken out and laid on the bed for me.

I was scared of the dark. I wouldn't sleep alone...

He would lie down next to me on the tiny bed and watch me bury myself in his comfortably warm chest and drift away...

On some days i woke up n saw him asleep right next to me... uncomfortable in a bed too small for him.. nevertheless there because he didn't want to disturb me...

When i was just a 5-year-old...

Confusion

I wake up every morning to see,

He still does not smile at me.

What did i do to anger him so?

I dearly wished i could know.

I remembered his smiles from long ago,

Lifted me up when i was low.

So I went unto him and turned his lock,

He hadn't been wound in a long while; my clock.

C'est la vie...

Sometimes you think you are fine...

The world around you is awesome...

You are on a high...

Things are working out... exactly the way you want them to...

You learn to forget the things you must...

You learn... at last... to move on....

You learn that sometimes you cannot look back without feeling unbelievable pain...

You learn to take everyday as your last day...

You finally learn to be free...

You think you are invincible...

You grow to love yourself for the very first time after a lifetime of self loathing...

You learn to prioritize life and become responsible...

People call it a 'transformation'...

You finally learn to voice out and protect yourself...

You think you are finally 'mature'...

You think your past will never put you down again...

Past? What past? There is only a future...

Even the present is only an immediate past or future...

You learn to love the little things...

You smile for no reason at all...

You wake up in the morning and think its beautiful...

You are no more afraid of the darkness...

You embrace it...

You can handle anything.... anyone....

You don't need anyone...

You are your life...

No one else can take that from you...

You finally learn to discover yourself and settle in...

You look at old pictures and wonder who it was looking back at you...

It definitely wasn't you...

You feel like a bird...

Everything seems so beautiful...

Everything seems so perfect....

And then there are.................................

Those who remind you of the past... again and again.... just to hurt you

Loved ones who sometimes never understand... even when they know they should...

Years spent trying to be someone you are not to keep people happy...

Those songs... that haunt... like the ghost of unfulfilled love...

Those places.... that you never want to go to again... but stand tall like skyscrapers in front of you all the time....

Those people you hate but can never let go of...

The anger that surges within when you are judged for being liberal...

Those memories that hang on stronger when you try to forget...

Time... that merely numbs but doesn't heal...

Those days when you cant sleep and stare at the wall for hours for no reason at all...

Those moments you feel like ending it all...

Pain that can't be described...

The millions of silent tears....

Regret... that eats you constantly from inside...

Those times when you want to talk to someone but there's no one around...

Those months spent on fruitless pursuit..

The many years wasted...

Realization...

Life.....

Gerald Durell and FP

Last evening at a bookstore, Father P suggests books to buy:

FP: Why don't you buy Gerald Durell? I used to love reading his books as a kid.

Me: What does he write on?

FP: He catches and preserves exotic animals... he writes on how he catches them

Me: Interesting *picks up a book* 'My family and other and other animals'.. *Hints* I wonder who he was writing about.

FP: His adolescent daughter probably.

Me: *feigns anger* How rude!

FP: You're right! Sorry. If it was about his daughter he'd have named it 'My daughter. There's no other animal like her.'

Me: -_-

Again... and again

Well... that settles it...

I'm not going to change my template again...

Noserieee..

No matter how tempting it is...

I will stick to this... no matter what....

Come what may...

I will be the epitome and embodiment of self control....

OoOooooo.... How does this one look?

Oops... *blushes* Changed again...

Sunday morning sighting

7 a.m - Alarm rings... ignore alarm... sleep... ZZZZzzzzzz! Ben Affleck comes in dream.. tell him.. "You are 5 years late. I am sorry but Ashton Kutcher is my dream boy now".

7:06 a.m - Mutters as one is kicked out of bed (literally) by Father P

7:07 a.m - While Father P brushes, unknown to him, sneak back into bed again....

7: 10 a.m - Is drenched as inhuman father pours cold water on head. Decide not to take bath.

7: 20 a.m - Wake up to realize one is in bathroom holding toothbrush to mouth and fast asleep. Paste is all over pyjamas. Sigh!

7:30 a.m - Trudge to dining table to find one's dose of morning caffeine missing! Rushes into kitchen to find Father P saying "You were the one who said you didn't want coffee from today". Vaguely remember saying it in a fit of dieting insanity. Why doesn't he remember other things? Like the puppy i asked him to get me 13 yrs ago?

7:34 - Stop writing a.m due to laziness. Try to gulp down green tea. Must remember to give this to worst enemy... and dad!

7:45 - given Rs. 100 and asked to go buy milk and vegetables. Mouth opens to protest. Is shut by inhuman eyes of dad. Mental note to make that 4 cups of green tea for him... jasmine flavoured!

7:50 - Wear horrid rain jacket over night clothes and dad's slippers (to slush in the mud) ... climbing down stairs... and now face to face with hot neighbour who has become even hotter in the months gone without seeing him...

7:51 - Want to faint.

7:52 - Damn healthy green tea!

7:53 - Try to walk past with inner poise (watched bridget jones' previous night. Feels influenced)

7:54 - Step in mud, look around but neighbor not even glancing at display of public humiliation... inner poise is kaput.

7:55 - Buy vegetables. Half asleep and calculate wrong and pick a fight with the shop fellow. He takes pity and lets one go without scratch.

7:57 - proud of returning home without a scratch.

7 :57: 30 - Cute neighbour is still there. Orange t shirt (observe that it looks good on him) and shorts.

7:58 - Take phone out of pocket. Lucky! Some stupid fellow has called at 7 in the morning. Decide to call him back immediately. Might be some emergency. What if he is sick and drops dead by the time i reach the first floor?

7:59 - 'Redialling numer' Stupid fellow who called is busy on another call. Hmmpf!

8:00 - Neighbour still doesn't acknowledge my existence. Damn all cute guys!

8:01 - Now does not have an excuse to stay down. Decide to call Father P

8:02 - "Hello?" "Pa do you need anything else? Don't make me go again after i come up" "Nothing. I have other work for you. Come up" "Sure you don't need anything? Nothing?" "Nothing"

8:03 - Daddy's birthday gift is jasmine green tea and cluttered room (his worst nightmare)

8:04 - Enter home, dump stuff on the table and pout at dad.

8:05 - "I forgot my phone in the car. Go get it" Grab key and rush down happy to realize that one has to pass by hot guy's house to get to car. Walk... walk.... walk....

8:06 - Jaw is open wide

8:06:10 - Cute guy leaning against car.

8:07 - Inner poise. Inner poise. Reach car. Fiddle with keys.

8:08 - Cute guy walks away, without looking.

8:09 - Stamp ground in frustration

8:10 - Uh oh! Cute guy sees ground stamping. Gives disgusted stare. Think of something smart to cover it up! "Damn apple". APPLE!?!?!??! OH MY!

8:11 - Wish to become invisible

8:12 - Commando skills improve after sneaking past cute guy's house, hopefully unnoticed. Going to consider applying for NSG. Or new business venture... something like 'Power Combat - Ability to sneak away during embarrassing situations'

8: 13 - Destination bed reached... Realize that cute guy not as good as Ashton Kutcher...

Bad time of india

Here are the answers to my intimate questions (ones that i need answers to desperately) at fortune teller genius (facebook) and the magic ball.. both seem to have decided that i must never be happy :|

Fortune teller

Q: Will i stop biting my nails?

A: Yes of course

Q: Will my cute neighbour like me? like EVER?

A: Hmmm.. nope..

Q: Are you mad?

A: No

Q: Will i get first rank in college?

A: Of course not!

Q: Will i dominate the world?

A: Yes, definitely (this one i liked! :P )

Q: You sure that guy won't like me?

A: Don't waste your time on it ( :|)

Magic 8 ball:

Q: Will i get good marks in this assignment i just slogged on?

A: Outcasts say 25% (:( )

Q: Will i marry a hot guy?

A: My sources say no (Damn it!)

Q: Should i believe you?

A: I think so

Q: Are you sure?

A: All sources point to yes.

Q: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

A: Yes (!!?!??!?!? :O )

There.. even a magic 8 ball has a partner :|

Kandhasaamy review

Father P's one word reviews without even watching the movie!

Father P comes this evening while my cousin discusses the sad movie that is Kandhasaamy with me. He asks "how's the movie?".. my cousin goes "horrible".

Father P goes "It must've been named 'Kandhal' ('in pieces' in Tamil) saamy'

Cousin is awe-struck...

---------------------------------------------the end-----------------------------------------------

World's best daughter

Father P and I this morning just as i was shoving down food in a hurry to catch the train to college.

Father P: How's the food, edible?

Me: Dad, you be the best in the world except when you bug me

Father P: When is that?

Me: 90% of the time

Father P: Oh. You be the best daughter in the world even when you bug me.

Me: *smugly and tad sentily* ha! How often is that?

Father P: All the time!

The memory

Father P is a practical man. Extremely methodical to the point of being obsessive compulsive and i am the exact opposite. So everyday he tries to tell me to fill water without spilling a lake of water. He walks to me as i fill yesterday and does a hip shake and says "Don't spill water".

Continues to shake hip til he reaches chair.

I am speechless.

"Why did u just do that?"

"For effect. You'll fill prop from tomorrow", he says

"How is that an effect? and how would that make me do it properly?" I am genuinely puzzled

"Well... you'll never forget that dance. And u'd do it properly coz u never want to see it again"

Tag

I was tagged by Venky and Iysh.. so i'll do it

:)

4 places I've lived in :

Royapettah, Lloyds Road, Gopalapuram and Royapettah high road (Same road :P)

4 TV shows that I like to watch :

Friends, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes and Buffy when it aired :(

4 places that I've been to, on vacation :

Calcutta, Munnar, Thekkadi and Ooty

4 Favourite food items :

• Pasta, Curd rice and lime pickle ( :P ), Frankie (vaishuuuu i miss our frankie escapades :() and Tandoori

4 places I would rather be :

• Venice
• Paris
• Egypt
• Rome

4 websites that I visit everyday :

• Facebook
• Twitter
• My blog
• Hotmail

4 things that I hope to do before I die :

• Visit every country in the world
• A world cruise
• My last yr's b'day gift promised by a frnd who still hasn't done it :( (Dam him)
• Publish a travel magazine :P

4 novels I wish I was reading for the first time :

• A Thousand Splendid Suns
• Brida
• Twilight
• My diary :P hahahahaha

4 movies that I can watch over and over again... :

• The Notebook
• I now pronounce you chuck and larry
• The Hangover
• Transformers

Perils of the Scarlet Pimple

(In pic: a 21 g.. that is good bus.. very frequent... not a pimple pain :P )

What do you do when you have to travel at 7 in the morning everyday to a place that is 40 minutes away and the only bus that can take you there is an elusive old wuss? (Disclaimer: Children, please don't show this post to your parents or you'll be barred from further communication with me :P ).

5C has been a part of my life for the last 3 years. Actually, i ve wanted it to be an integral part of my life (it is the only bleddy bus that goes from mount road to taramani in one stretch) but it has evaded me and shown severel signs of disinterest in my proposal. The damn bus is so elusive, i've decided to call it The Scarlet Pimple (coz calling it Pimpernal would be an insult to the real Percy Blakeney and the bus is a pain.. like a burst pimple! Hence, the reference).

The last two days of waiting for the bus have been particularly frustrating and it is soooo evident that the bus hates me! :(

Day 1

7 : 15 - Idly (my friend who will hence be called this as she loves idlis and her names rhymes with it) and I were at the bus stop waiting for 5 c

7: 20 - Still waiting

7: 25 - Still waiting

7: 30 - Still waiting (at this point i sit and slightly doze off)

7:35 - Running late.. still waiting

7:38 - Fed up. Idly and i catch an auto to the MRTS station.

7:40 - At the junction, a 5 five minute walk from the bus stop we just ditched, we prepare to turn just as we catch a glimpse of the elusive pimple. We call an emergency rush and ask the auto wallah to 'rush forward in full speed to 5 c's next stop'.

7: 45 - We are at the next stop

7: 48 - We realise we missed the bus and catch another auto to the train station mumbling curse words.

Day 2

7:20 - Idly and i walking towards bus stop and spot 5 c just stopping.

7: 21 - Run frantically towards the stop, signalling with hands and feet and whatever we else we could do

7:22 - The bus goes past us and the driver sneers, not stopping to give 2 poor children a lift.

7:23 - "Ass, bleddy dog, stupid bus.. i pray you have a breakdown and whichever stop u stop at noone wil get on and everyone will signal u to stop in the middle of the road and then show u middle finger when u stop", Idly mumbles

7:25 - We wait

7: 30 - Waiting

7:35 - Waiting

7:37 - "I don't think we'll get another one so soon. Let's walk to the junction and take a bus to the train station. Will save us time and we wont waste money like yest"

7:40 - We at the junction.

7:40 and 35 seconds (i think) - We turn and see 5 c AGAIN goin towards the stop.

7: 41 - "STTOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP" we yell, running towards the stop in full speed, trying to race the bus to the stop.

7:42 - Bus reaches stop before us. We run. People watch. We still run.

7:43 - We step on the bus and it takes off.

7:44 - "I think we just woke up alot of ppl on the that road", idly says. "We should've yelled good morning instead", i comment.

7:55 - Bus picks up girl from the middle of the road. "See this guy is nice. I hope that fellow has a breakdown and has to stay there for hours", Idly curses again.

7:58 - "Write blog post on this. Everyone needs to know how much we suffer", idly says, adding "And put my quotes in it"

9 pm - I oblige.

Investment and father p

Father P walks into room and sees my haircut

FP: Wow.. makeover eh? How much did you blow?

Me: 700

FP: For this? I knew a 1000 rs note was missing from my purse this morning. Sigh.. whatever for? Trying to impress someone?

Me: Yeah. Trying to get a boyfriend

FP: Then my money didn't go in vain. Catch one soon. *pats my back* All the best.

Me: Money didn't go in vain??

FP: It's an investment. If i invest 1000 now i save many thousands later. Coz if you get committed that poor soul will spend and i can save some cash atlast. Yay!

Me: New age dad eh?

FP: Nahh.. just a smart one.. :P

Imagination on an over drive

You know those days your imagination is on an overdrive? Today was one of those days when you have non existant conversations with your cosmetics :|

This evening as i went to wash my face, i was struck my dilemma. I have 2 face washes; dove (which i purchased recently) and garnier. Ever since i bought dove, i've been using it and i've ignored poor garnier.

Statutory warning : Use cushion while hitting head against wall. It will help you vent steam and prevent excessive bleeding.

Today in the bath:

Me: *thinking* Let me use garnier today. Long time. Poor thing must b pissed with me.

*I pick up the garnier tube*

Dove: Hey, what are you doing? why are you using him?

Me: C'mon. I haven't used him in a while. Let me just use him today to show him that i still remember he is there.

Dove: Oh, like that? *winks* ok ok carry on

Garnier: Hullow. I'm right here. In your hand. Could you atleast like respect my feelings and bitch about me BEHIND MY BACK?

Me: Oops.. sorry.. *puts dove away* don't worry. I was just saying that to cool her off. Or she won't lather properly tomorrow.

Garnier: Excuse me! You just hurt my feelings. I wont either. Hmmmpf!

Me: Well, suit yourself. If you don't, then i use her and ignore you for life and throw you out when you expire.

Garnier: *shocked* you wouldn't dare!

Me: I don't want to remind you about the garnier conditioner that i never used last year.

Garnier: *gasps* oh yeah. The horror! He.... just..... expired... *bows head* may he rest in peace *Wails*

*Rubs a lil bit of gel on my hand and massage my face*

Me: Dude, your wasted. I dont' feel fresh at all

Garnier: I'm a face wash not a face fresh

Me: Wow. Nice comeback, Einstein.

Garnier: You just shattered my self confidence

Dove: I didn't know you had any

Garnier: You don't talk.... you... you... you... bird!

Dove: Is that the best you can do?

Me: Ok that's enough

Garnier: So who wins?

Dove: Me, like DUH!

Me: No

Dove: What? Then you pick HIM?

Me: *sighs* I'm buying lakme 'pure defence' tomorrow!

Lethal weapon!

This afternoon while i was shopping with Father P, i found out the reason why most sons in india grow up afraid of their mom, atleast until they introduce their girlfriends to her :P .

And no, Father P will not steal any credit for this post (hmmmpf! *mumbles* i give him little space and he overtakes me!)

Errr... anyway..getting back...

At the billing counter, i am waiting as father p examines all those necessary things (like biscuits, tortilla chips, jalepeno conserve) that i snuck into the shopping cart when he wasn't looking, so that the billing can happen when a small boy and his dad were getting their stuff billed. And they broke out into an arguement. He was clutching a kurkure packet to his chest protectively, protesting and throwing a fit about keeping it back.

The father first tells him calmly that he's not going to buy it, then a little stern. Then shouts at his son. He tries to grab the bag but the boy dodges and the rest of us snigger, much to the embarrassment of the father. (Here Father P says : Don't laugh. You were much worse when you were a kid. I was so embarrassed, i wouldn't even take you out of the house half the time coz u made such a rucous everywhere!) Ahemm..

So the father tries various means but the boy holds a death grip on the chips packet. Finally, his father used a lethal weapon

"If you don't put that down now, i'll tell your mother", he said, puffing his chest and pretending to call out to his wife

The boy's expression changed instantly from defiance to surrender. He meekly let the father pull the packet away from him and put it back on the rack. When the father came back to pay, he pulled at his sleeve. The father looked down.

"I gave it back. Don't tell mother ok? Promise?"

SNUBBED AGAIN

Me: Dad, people think what i write on my blog is all made up

Father P: It isn't?

Me: They mean the conversations we have

Father P: Well.. i just have one thing to say about that

Me: And that is?

Father P: The ones where i snub you alone are true. The rest... well... god only knows!

Me: Thanks :|

Father P's day

When this daughter completely forgets about father's day, Father P is upset. Then she remembers it today and decides to wish him a belated father's day

Me: Belated Father's day wishes

Father P: That's it? No gift?

Me: I got myself 2 pair of jeans

Father P: How is that a gift?

Me: I didn't make you to spend on it.

Father P: How considerate of you. Anyway, thank you for not remembering. What's the point of writing about me on your blog, making me famous and then forgetting me on father's day.

Me: I didn't forget you. I just forgot Father's day. By the way, we need to pay college fees today.

Father P: *mumbles* And i thought i didn't have to spend. Hey, didn't you say some friend of yours got spot selected for the course?

Me: Yeah. Your daughter wasn't one of those spot selected candidates though.

Father P: You don't have to tell me. I know how brilliant you are. I just wish.... sighh. no point..

Me: Wish what?

Father P: That i could've spot selected my daughter. Mind you, you wouldn't have even been shortlisted for the post.

Me: Oh and what questions would you ask them when they came for the interview?

Father P: That's easy. Just two. Both questions to which you don't know the answer to. "When is my birthday?" and "When is Father's day?"

Me: *shakes head* sigh!

Bus Chronicles (Love is everywhere...)

Apart from the very talented (ahem.. this is a lie btw) Chriz falling in love with his neighbour, i have noticed in the past three weeks that love is indeed blosomming everywhere around me.. (Yeah, don't rub it in. Around me. Doesn't include me. Sigh!) In fact, three of my friends have tied hearts (and soon knots) with their self-proclaimed soul mates, including one who i least expected it from... And one just celebrated her first anniversary! (i totally forgot about it, of course. I don't even remember my own birthday, let alone her anniversary date! This was followed by a msg from her boyfriend saying : "psst! wish her! and it's totally not my idea ok?" and you can imagine what followed this. The 'you-ignorant-friend-who-doesn't-care-about-love' lectures.. ahh! that's ok

Just as i was brooding over the fact that men have no taste whatsoever these days (why else would i still be single? huh?), something... changed my mind. I realised love is sometimes funny too :P Yea.. comeback post :P

I was returning home from a friend's place. It was incredibly hot and i was testing the effectiveness of the new sunscreen i had worn ( actually it was HOT INSIDE THE DAM BUS!) today. Innocently listening to music, i turned around, only to find myself face to face with a girl koochi-kooing her lover! Ahemm... And the funny part is.... Whatever they did matched the song i was listening to! It was hillarious! Here's the lyrics and what was happening.

The song: You and me by Lifehouse (ROTFL... what was i doing listening to a sappy love song in the first place... ahemm.. err.. another story)

What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive...

Boy catches girls wrist and peers at her watch. Then thinking no one's watching, bends down

and kisses her hand!

I can't keep up, i can't back down, i've been losing so much time

People keep walking by the seat staring at him but his lips seems to hav stuck themselves

to the back of her palm as tho someone applied super glue to it! After some disgusted stares,

he removes it and places his hand there instead as tho sealing it in her palm forever! (yeuch!)

Cause its you and me and all of the people, with nothing to do, nothing to prove

They look into each other's eyes and the conducter shouts at them to get the ticket. They don't hear!

And it's you and me and all of the people and

I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

They are still looking into each other's eyes and the both sigh (and so do i. Love really is blind.

The conductor has given up)

All of the things, that i want to say, Just aren't coming out right.

The boy, evidently is not very proficient in english. And he tries to propose his love to his

darling in english to impress. Big mistake!

"Maii lakshumi, you aaare. Ai looue you. My pondati (wife in english) di you beee"

I'm tripping on words, you've got my head spinning, I don't know where to go from here

"Vichu stop shall i take ticket faar?", she asksu (oops) in equally fluent english. He sighs in

defeat "yenywear dearrr. You aree thear no. That is enuff"

Then i turn back to my window, wondering why this was so weird. When i turned back,

the line was

Everything she does is beautiful, everything she does is right....

She buys a ticket from Mylapore to central and he looks at her fondly as she talks to the

conductor, his eyes looking as though a miracle was happening in front of him.

I turned again, kinda freaked and switched songs. And the next was Holiday by Greenday. I

smiled and thought this could have nothing with them. When i turned to see a slight drizzle

building up. I froze.

Behind me i heard the guy say "Jestu heaar the rain s voice"

And the lines went

Hear the sound of the falling rain, coming down like an armegeddon flame

I got off at the next stop!

Waiting..

I will wait whilst time flies,

Till you smile; there my happiness lies. 

I will wait till you break free,

And come again to be with me.

I will wait through day and wait through night,

Till i see the faintest light.

I will wait, till the end;

I will wait for you, my dear friend.

Woman

Father P calls himself a post-modernist (Actually, i just came up with that). In a heated arguement about whether is it proper for a guy or girl to ask the other out first, he shut my mouth with one of his brilliant one-liners.

Me: I think the guy must make the first move.

Father P: Why? You asked someone out and they rejected you?

Me: That's besides the point, dad.

Father P: Naa.. I think sometimes a woman can make the first move too.

Me: Why should she?

Father P: Cause she's a woman. Has to woo-her-man.

Me: *Bows before the great power* Applause!
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Update:
Me: People think you rock, dad.

Father P: Tell them they are mistaken

Me: Why?

Father P: Cause i'm human being.

Reverie

She stood at the edge of the shore. Her long, braided hair flying truant in the gushing wind, loose strands shadowing her worried face. She steadily moved towards the water, her mind elsewhere.

"What am i going to do now?", she wondered, watching the calming rhythm of the waves crashing upon the shore.  For a minute she lost herself in it and then shook herself awake. Things have to be done. The pain has to pass. But it wouldn't let go. 

She wrapped her saree closer around her figure as though it was cold. It's been a year but it was still fresh in her memory. How would she ever go on? She stole a glance around her and made sure noone was in the vicinity. Suddenly, it seemed easy. If she could just walk into the waves, she would never have to worry again. The pain will momentarily increase but then it will be forever gone....

Her mind drew a blank. She kept walking toward the water. Her pace increased. "I can do this", she said, walking into the water.

"Mummy, are you coming to play too?"

She whirled around and found her five-year-old daughter tugging at her saree. For a moment she was dumbstruck.

"Of course, dear. But it's late. Let's leave. You need to go to school tomorrow and i have work", she went on, lifting the child up and placing her firmly on her waist.

"Can i have ice-cream now?", the kid pushed

"You'll catch a..... yes.. yes, we'll buy a couple of cones at the supermarket near home. Ok?"

"Ok. Chocolate?"

"Hahahaha... sure, darling", she laughed, placing a kiss on her child's forehead.

"Life goes on", she thought, smiling as her daughter returned the kiss.

Down's syndrome

After reading Mark Haddon's 'The Curious case of the dog in the night time', i was thoroughly convinced that father p suffered from down's syndrome. I confronted him with the information:

Me: I think you have down's syndrome

Dad: Huh?

Me: You are so meticulous and catogorical that it drives me nuts. You are a doctor. You should know u have a disease by now.

Dad: You have Up syndrome

Me: Huh?

Dad: You keep messing everything UP which is why i am meticulous about it!

*I wonders why i have such a dad*

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Update

Mayz has awarded me with 2 super cute awards :) Thankss bro 

The Thank You award 

&

Pixie award

:) :) another 2.. hehehehe.. what a week! :) :)

Awards galore :)

Hey guys

I can't believe i've got 3 awards :P apart from the 5 i had already... woooohoooo! :)

Nikhil  has bestowed upon me two awards;  

The xxtraordinary Blogger award 

and

The sweet blogger award :)

The pink orchid a.k.a Kajal has also been kind enough to give me an award i feel i don't deserve :P thanks anyway kajal... and i'm sorry for putting it up so late.. was waiting for an opportunity.. :) 

Heart stealer award (ahem! wish this were true in my neighbour's case :( ) 

There! I've blown my own trumpet :P 

Now i can sleep for 2 days without worrying about updating ;) hehehehe

I'm not saying anything

After a huge fight the previous night which ended up with me missing dinner and breakfast, father P calls when i'm at work the next day

Father P: So you are planning to fast unto death?

Me: Yeah

Father P: Are you sure?

Me: Yeah

Father P: Ok fine. I'm ordering Pizza for dinner tonight. Cya

Me: !#$!$!

Winning step....

Kids are the best teachers....  :)

This afternoon i was at a bookstore, looking at all those books i could not afford (if anyone wants to buy me a birthday gift i would suggest you get me the entire Calvin and Hobbes collection :D )  and suddenly i heard loud footsteps followed by a loud shriek. Along with half the bookstore stalkers there, i turned around to see 2 kids engaged in a serious game of running race in the middle of the store. 

The 2 contenders were a tiny girl in a pink frock, who was at most 5 and a slightly bigger boy, 8 or so, dressed in a blue t shirt and shorts. Both kids looked absolutely adorable and as always the boy seemed to be making the rules for the game. 

Suddenly the boy, after a deep discussion wit his kid sister shouted "1, 2, 3, GO!" and both ran for their lives up the stairs and down again. By this time, most of the watchers had dispersed to mind their own business but i wanted to know who won so i stayed on to watch. 

The kids came thumping down and as expected, the boy came first by a large margin.. He ran down and jumped a couple of times. Then he saw that his sister hadn't come down yet. He turned around to find her standing on the steps looking down at him. The kid almost had tears welling in her eyes. The boy immediately climbed back those stairs, went next to his sister, gently lifted her, carried her down the rest and put her down in front of him saying "You came first!" 

The girl immediately smiled and started laughing in pure joy shouting "i won i won" at anyone who passed by her. 

The boy smiled and watched on...

I moved to the next rack with a smile that stayed with me the rest of the day....

What it means to be....

His eyes were wrinkled with worry and care,

Thinking of the nights spent waiting up, scared.

"Where is she?", he thought, "How can she dare?"

To the shadows he resigned again, an everyday fare.

Past midnight she walked in without a bother,

He looked on and sighed in relief; how it is to be a father.  

The face wash incident

I have yet again successfully made people think i fell in and out to love with the sheer power of my words :P Kudos to me! ahem... errr.... hehehehehehe

Another Father P post coming up.... sizzling hot :P .... hahahaha 

This morning, i woke up late (as usual) and found Father P missing. I needed money to buy some stuff from the nearby department store and hence went searching around the house for him. But of course, he had left for work. So i called him.

Me: Good morning pa

FP: You are calling and wishing me on the phone? How much money do you need?

Me: What an insult! How dare you accuse me of such atrocious things?

FP: Do you want money or not?

Me: Urm... errr...Yes.. need around 100 

FP: What for?

Me: Need to buy a face wash

FP: But i saw 4 tubes in the loo cabinet..

Me: None of them are face washes

FP: Then what the hell are they?!?

Me: Urm... conditioner, softener... uhh... cleansing milk... and uhh...

FP: What? What do you need to condition, soften and cleanse? Your soul?

Me: You are a guy....

FP: Thank god for that.

Me: Now don't be a chauvnist, pa

FP: Are you trying to call me a pig?

Me: I never said that

FP: But chauvinist is usually followed by a pig

Me: Only if chauvnist is followed by 'ic'

FP: Oh i see...

Me:  Now i might have to add it

FP: Forget washing your face ever, then. But you know what i  just realized? i cannot be a chauvnist...

Me: Why not?

FP: Because I have a daughter who spends over Rs. 500 of my money every month to buy tubes of cream to cleanse, soften and condition her soul... which invariably will make her a better person.. now which chauvnist would agree to do that to a woman??

*I faints*

..........

Between the rains and the rainbow bright,

Darkness unfolds; a veil over light.

I watch him fade away, with darkness blend,

Now i know every beginning must have an end...

The secret....

Him: Hey, can i ask you something?

Her: Sure

Him: Do you have any secrets?

Her: Just one.

Him: What is it?

Her: Hahahaha.... if i told you it wudn't be a secret anymore. 

Him: C'mon. It's me. I have a right to know.

Her: Okay. i'll tell you. It's.....

Him: *puts his finger on her lips* Shhh! 

She shrugs.

Him: You claim you are good at poetry. Tell it to me in 2 lines; you wannabe poet....

Her: I'm surprised, dear, that you never knew;

          My best kept secret is You.

The Shadow....

As the moon threw its shadow on the open sea,

He leaned closer and whispered to me;

"Do you see the moon profess his love to the sea?

Who in turn shone brighter, like a prisoner set free?

Look closer at them both... there's you and me"

The clearing...

Twigs crack under my feet as he leads me on...

Past the desolate woods... deeper... deeper... 

A clearing appears... and a river...

I move to the edge... breathing it in...

The water is so calm... the woods so silent..

I touch the water... soft as silk...

The touch disturbs its sanctity and ripples appear... i am ashamed...

"It's okay", he says. A warm sensation on my shoulder... "I am here".

A smile creeps its way onto my lips...

"Forever?", i ask, suddenly breathless. 

The wind blows his whisper by my ears..."Forever".

I touch the water once again, the tip of my finger prodding it...

It is patient... ripples no more....

I am puzzled. I turn and look up at him....

He laughs... comes close to my ear and whispers...

"The water is jealous"

"Why?"

"Because it won't be around as long as i will be"

With friends like these..... who needs enemies...

As of today i officially announce that i might not be regular on my blog due to the sudden entry of an extremely handsome humanoid of the male gender in the flat adjecent to mine :D ...

This morning as i was loitering up and down the stairs picking up towels that my maid 'accidently' dropped down (4 times!), someone brushed past me on my third descent. I turned to face the back of the most handsome guy i've ever seen (in my apartment). Since news travels fast in the maid community.. i approached mine with much caution so as to not rouse her suspicion and very casually dropped in a word about a new 'boy' in the apartment.

"Yes.. he is that next door kid's uncle"

"Ohhhhh... must be 30 or so then no", i asked, inwardly hoping he wasn't

"No no... he's just 25", came an uninterested reply. But i was interested... very interested...

"Ohh... what does he do?"

"They put those sums and all no... maths ppl"

"Huh?"

"In a shop and all they are incharge of the accounts"

"Charted Accountant ah.. ok ok"

And i walked away from her as any more questions would definitely find its way to my grandmother's ears.

I spent the next three and half hours studying... with a xerox in my hand.... on the corridor... right opposite the grilled door to his home.... my eyes were plastered on his door... now and then darting to the paper whenever people passed by... that at the end of the 3.5 hours i had only glimpsed at the word "principles" .. "management"..."organizing"... "co-ordinating"...

After lunch i saw that father p and grandma were both fast asleep. I resumed my intensive study pattern for the next two hours until i heard father p shout about the water i had left boiling on the stove 2 hours ago!! Such intensive studying i was doing :P

By then i had seen him for more than an hour and adrenaline was pumping. I was so excited i texted all my friends about him....

But with friends like these.... who needs enemies... check out their responses...

BloggerMouth

Me: Guess what? guess what? guess what?

BM: What maaaa?

Me: A hot guy moved in next door. He's so hot i've been going up and down the corridor all afternoon.

BM: When can i come to your house for combined studies?

Arv

Me: Hey bro i got a new hot neighbour

Arv: too much.. not fair.. get me a girl first.. i'm the eldest, i have the seniority here on these matters.. not fair kiddo... ok go study

Me: ROTFL

Iysh

Me: heyyyyy. i got a new hot neighbour

Iyshu: wowww. Intro de!

Misty: Podi

Iyshu: hmpf!

Swe

Me: Hey i got a new hot neighbour de

Swe: :O I hope he's committed de!

Me: Go die!

Valia

Me: I got a new hot neighbour de

Valia: Hot you say? Maybe we could trade. Im bored of my hot neighbour... He's 6 2 if it helps

Boss: 

Me:  Boss, guess what. A good looking guy just moved in next door. And i've been walking up and down the corridor since morning

Boss: Too much... 

3 hrs later....

Boss: Stop walking up and down the corridor.. you are going to freak that guy out!!!

Miracle of LOWE

We all know our parents love us... or do we? But how is it that my father shows his love for me through his different methods of snubbing me??? 

This afternoon, just as i was about to immerse myself in corporate communication.. planning how to create an identity, build a brand and maintain my reputation (which seems non-existant), a miracle happened. It was so surprising i have decided to call it 'The Miracle of 2009'... my father texted me!!!!

"I will be late... give grandma bread and butter. Dad."

I replied

"Ok. Butter was in freezer. Now melting."

I was bored and no one else was messaging. Hence the lame reply. Then, the miracle happened again.

"Why? Is it warm outside? Dad."

"No its 0 degrees and i'm freezing"

At this point i already knew Father P had begun his handiwork... his sense of humor was unleashed again :P

"Oh is it so? Ok i'll go outside and check. Dad"

"Don't put blade pa. Do i wait for you to come or do i eat something cause i'm hungry?"

I couldn't believe father p and i were conversing through text.. it has never happened before!!!

"I have eaten. You go ahead. Dad."

"Ok. You enjoy 'hanging out' then. Tata"

And there i thought it ended.. but i was wrong...

"Thanks. I ate out. Will tell you the menu when i get back. Dad."

"Are you pulling my leg?"

"Yes. Dad"

"Your daughter is studying hard for exam. Don't disturb now"

"Studying hard or hardly studying? Dad."

"Why are u comedying like this pa?"

"Love. Dad."

:) And there came the biggest smile on my face....

10 reasons why this blog has not been updated...

I haven't been here in a long time.. and won't be updating for a while.. actually only when i make statements like this i will update everyday :P .. anyway here are the top 10 reasons why i have been avoiding my blog:

1. I got myself a boyfriend

2. I'm busy with him

3. I spend 10 hours a day on the phone with him

4. He doesn't let me talk to anyone else

5. He is very possessive about me and thinks the internet will 'corrupt' me

6. He wants me to spend every living moment thinking about him (and is happy now that i'm writing about him in my blog though he is not too happy about the 'writing in the blog' part)

7. He doesn't want me to strain too much by thinking (ahemm.. not that i use my brain much anyway... )

8. He thinks i will flaunt him on my blog becoz he is very hot seeeeeee

9. He doesn't like chriz and lance flirting with me...

10. I HAVE A SEMESTER EXAM TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

P.S: I took a poll among friends on the first 9 points... they all agreed it was a very good April Fool's Joke... :| sigh...

Lowe and Father P

Yes... another Father P post!!! What a celebrity he has become :P

This afternoon, Father P was 'cleaning' by college bag (snooping around, more like) and found a fastrack box with a watch inside it. "Who is this for? Did the college give you this for achieving something?", he asked. What would any sane person do at this question? Laugh. Yes. And that's what i did. "What makes you think my college will sponsor a fastrack watch for me?". He thought for a while and examined the watch. "Then who gave this? Some boy right?". At this too i laughed. A little louder.

Father P got a little angry. He put up a hand to stop me from saying anything and went into deep thought. I guess he wanted to find out who gave me the watch but his ego prevented him from taking the simple way out; asking me! After 5 minutes of guessing wrong, he gave up. I explained that a friend had bought it for her boyfriend and i was safeguarding it till the coast was clear to give it to him...

"Oh!", he said and smiled widely. I wondered what had gone wrong with him! I thought parents were supposed to chide their children if they help their friends with 'lowe' matters. But here, my dad was sitting and smirking at me. And then came his punch dialogue...

"History repeats itself"

I was silent for more than a minute, which is very unlikely when i am talkin to dad. First of all, i didn't understand what he meant by history repeating itself. Cause as far as i know he hasn't had any romantic relationships! Then again, i thought, neither have i. Maybe he's rubbing it in! Second of all, what a punch dialogue and what a smirk! :P

I ordered him to explain. "Well. I'm very surprised that you haven't figured it out yet. I did this too in college", he proudly exclaimed. What?!?! All these 20 years i had been subject to his 'college' stories about how the food was bad and he was the first in class (in med school!! can you believe that? what a nerd!) and how ... ok.. let's not get there :P Anyway, to put it in a nutshell all his college stories were boring.. and repetitive (Yes, i must have heard the incident about his bed bugged bed sum 100 times!) and i always ran away when he began. But this side of Father P, i had never known!

"You what?" i asked rather dumbly. "Yes, my best friend's sister was in love with another friend but he was against it. So i took them to tirupathi in a train and married them off. Before this happened, i used to be the messenger delivering notes here and there!", he laughed. I was dumbstruck! I have had the coolest, adventure-driven dad who helped couples (so i guessed he was anti ram sena) and i didn't know it all along! What a waste of life i am!! I decided to test waters...

"I shall note this down. Father P... smirks, helps couples, buys them train tickets and gets them married in register offices", i mocked writing them down in a piece of paper. "Why? do you know anyone in love who needs help?", he joked. "Of course. You are staring right at her", i told him, waiting in anticipation for the reply......

After 2 minutes... he looks up at me seriously..

"Really? Can i meet your boyfriend?".

My heart stopped beating that instant. Was this really Father P? He wanted to meet my imaginary non-existent boyfriend? I thought he was going to ground me for a week and make me break up with my figment of imagination (damn it! i rub it in myself! hmpf!)

"Sure.. i'll bring him home. What would you tell him if i did?". I was curious.

"I would tell him to quit while he's ahead. And work on his taste. Especially in women"

:|

And he did it again!

Validictory moments....

Today was our valedictory function at college... as we sit trying not to fall asleep at the various lectures on 'how to be with your.. ahemmm.. partner after marriage' and 'being good home makers' and somewhere towards the end mentioning 'career women'... our college staff had us in splits with their amazing one liners (they didn't know it was a joke though!)..

HOI(not D): We have almost 2852 students in this college! ( i wonder if 2851.5 was the accurate answer!)

HOI(not D): I will give you four options. First, you can study here again for you PG; second, come back as a staff ; third, come back for placements anytime during the year, fourth; even for entrepreneurship and if you want to get married, please give us your horoscopes also (notice the math and the nakkals!)

HOI: Apart from placement cell, we will also start a marraige bee-row (pronounciation of bureau)

Head of some dept that i couldn't pronounce: I present the roll of honour of my department. Aarthi to begin with. She is a good fellow... (what?!?!)

Head of computer science department (in a surprising sing song voice): These are the 'children' who have done the department proud (tune it to 'in da club' by 50 cent with pucca indian accent) These' kids' will go a long way in their lifes. (notice the english!)

Head of nutrition department : I know you know me as a Hitler and a Mussolini. Now, you know i know too!! (wow...!!! We so needed to know)

And last but not the least.... the one to introduce her class at the very end (when people were successfully snoring or gorging on the refreshments)... my dept's head!!!! The infamous one..

HOD of jour: This batch is a special batch. Because they allowed me to experiment with them! (WTF!?!?!?)