Investment and father p

Father P walks into room and sees my haircut

FP: Wow.. makeover eh? How much did you blow?

Me: 700

FP: For this? I knew a 1000 rs note was missing from my purse this morning. Sigh.. whatever for? Trying to impress someone?

Me: Yeah. Trying to get a boyfriend

FP: Then my money didn't go in vain. Catch one soon. *pats my back* All the best.

Me: Money didn't go in vain??

FP: It's an investment. If i invest 1000 now i save many thousands later. Coz if you get committed that poor soul will spend and i can save some cash atlast. Yay!

Me: New age dad eh?

FP: Nahh.. just a smart one.. :P

Imagination on an over drive

You know those days your imagination is on an overdrive? Today was one of those days when you have non existant conversations with your cosmetics :|

This evening as i went to wash my face, i was struck my dilemma. I have 2 face washes; dove (which i purchased recently) and garnier. Ever since i bought dove, i've been using it and i've ignored poor garnier.

Statutory warning : Use cushion while hitting head against wall. It will help you vent steam and prevent excessive bleeding.

Today in the bath:

Me: *thinking* Let me use garnier today. Long time. Poor thing must b pissed with me.

*I pick up the garnier tube*

Dove: Hey, what are you doing? why are you using him?

Me: C'mon. I haven't used him in a while. Let me just use him today to show him that i still remember he is there.

Dove: Oh, like that? *winks* ok ok carry on

Garnier: Hullow. I'm right here. In your hand. Could you atleast like respect my feelings and bitch about me BEHIND MY BACK?

Me: Oops.. sorry.. *puts dove away* don't worry. I was just saying that to cool her off. Or she won't lather properly tomorrow.

Garnier: Excuse me! You just hurt my feelings. I wont either. Hmmmpf!

Me: Well, suit yourself. If you don't, then i use her and ignore you for life and throw you out when you expire.

Garnier: *shocked* you wouldn't dare!

Me: I don't want to remind you about the garnier conditioner that i never used last year.

Garnier: *gasps* oh yeah. The horror! He.... just..... expired... *bows head* may he rest in peace *Wails*

*Rubs a lil bit of gel on my hand and massage my face*

Me: Dude, your wasted. I dont' feel fresh at all

Garnier: I'm a face wash not a face fresh

Me: Wow. Nice comeback, Einstein.

Garnier: You just shattered my self confidence

Dove: I didn't know you had any

Garnier: You don't talk.... you... you... you... bird!

Dove: Is that the best you can do?

Me: Ok that's enough

Garnier: So who wins?

Dove: Me, like DUH!

Me: No

Dove: What? Then you pick HIM?

Me: *sighs* I'm buying lakme 'pure defence' tomorrow!

Lethal weapon!

This afternoon while i was shopping with Father P, i found out the reason why most sons in india grow up afraid of their mom, atleast until they introduce their girlfriends to her :P .

And no, Father P will not steal any credit for this post (hmmmpf! *mumbles* i give him little space and he overtakes me!)

Errr... anyway..getting back...

At the billing counter, i am waiting as father p examines all those necessary things (like biscuits, tortilla chips, jalepeno conserve) that i snuck into the shopping cart when he wasn't looking, so that the billing can happen when a small boy and his dad were getting their stuff billed. And they broke out into an arguement. He was clutching a kurkure packet to his chest protectively, protesting and throwing a fit about keeping it back.

The father first tells him calmly that he's not going to buy it, then a little stern. Then shouts at his son. He tries to grab the bag but the boy dodges and the rest of us snigger, much to the embarrassment of the father. (Here Father P says : Don't laugh. You were much worse when you were a kid. I was so embarrassed, i wouldn't even take you out of the house half the time coz u made such a rucous everywhere!) Ahemm..

So the father tries various means but the boy holds a death grip on the chips packet. Finally, his father used a lethal weapon

"If you don't put that down now, i'll tell your mother", he said, puffing his chest and pretending to call out to his wife

The boy's expression changed instantly from defiance to surrender. He meekly let the father pull the packet away from him and put it back on the rack. When the father came back to pay, he pulled at his sleeve. The father looked down.

"I gave it back. Don't tell mother ok? Promise?"

SNUBBED AGAIN

Me: Dad, people think what i write on my blog is all made up

Father P: It isn't?

Me: They mean the conversations we have

Father P: Well.. i just have one thing to say about that

Me: And that is?

Father P: The ones where i snub you alone are true. The rest... well... god only knows!

Me: Thanks :|

Father P's day

When this daughter completely forgets about father's day, Father P is upset. Then she remembers it today and decides to wish him a belated father's day

Me: Belated Father's day wishes

Father P: That's it? No gift?

Me: I got myself 2 pair of jeans

Father P: How is that a gift?

Me: I didn't make you to spend on it.

Father P: How considerate of you. Anyway, thank you for not remembering. What's the point of writing about me on your blog, making me famous and then forgetting me on father's day.

Me: I didn't forget you. I just forgot Father's day. By the way, we need to pay college fees today.

Father P: *mumbles* And i thought i didn't have to spend. Hey, didn't you say some friend of yours got spot selected for the course?

Me: Yeah. Your daughter wasn't one of those spot selected candidates though.

Father P: You don't have to tell me. I know how brilliant you are. I just wish.... sighh. no point..

Me: Wish what?

Father P: That i could've spot selected my daughter. Mind you, you wouldn't have even been shortlisted for the post.

Me: Oh and what questions would you ask them when they came for the interview?

Father P: That's easy. Just two. Both questions to which you don't know the answer to. "When is my birthday?" and "When is Father's day?"

Me: *shakes head* sigh!

Bus Chronicles (Love is everywhere...)

Apart from the very talented (ahem.. this is a lie btw) Chriz falling in love with his neighbour, i have noticed in the past three weeks that love is indeed blosomming everywhere around me.. (Yeah, don't rub it in. Around me. Doesn't include me. Sigh!) In fact, three of my friends have tied hearts (and soon knots) with their self-proclaimed soul mates, including one who i least expected it from... And one just celebrated her first anniversary! (i totally forgot about it, of course. I don't even remember my own birthday, let alone her anniversary date! This was followed by a msg from her boyfriend saying : "psst! wish her! and it's totally not my idea ok?" and you can imagine what followed this. The 'you-ignorant-friend-who-doesn't-care-about-love' lectures.. ahh! that's ok

Just as i was brooding over the fact that men have no taste whatsoever these days (why else would i still be single? huh?), something... changed my mind. I realised love is sometimes funny too :P Yea.. comeback post :P

I was returning home from a friend's place. It was incredibly hot and i was testing the effectiveness of the new sunscreen i had worn ( actually it was HOT INSIDE THE DAM BUS!) today. Innocently listening to music, i turned around, only to find myself face to face with a girl koochi-kooing her lover! Ahemm... And the funny part is.... Whatever they did matched the song i was listening to! It was hillarious! Here's the lyrics and what was happening.

The song: You and me by Lifehouse (ROTFL... what was i doing listening to a sappy love song in the first place... ahemm.. err.. another story)

What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive...

Boy catches girls wrist and peers at her watch. Then thinking no one's watching, bends down

and kisses her hand!

I can't keep up, i can't back down, i've been losing so much time

People keep walking by the seat staring at him but his lips seems to hav stuck themselves

to the back of her palm as tho someone applied super glue to it! After some disgusted stares,

he removes it and places his hand there instead as tho sealing it in her palm forever! (yeuch!)

Cause its you and me and all of the people, with nothing to do, nothing to prove

They look into each other's eyes and the conducter shouts at them to get the ticket. They don't hear!

And it's you and me and all of the people and

I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

They are still looking into each other's eyes and the both sigh (and so do i. Love really is blind.

The conductor has given up)

All of the things, that i want to say, Just aren't coming out right.

The boy, evidently is not very proficient in english. And he tries to propose his love to his

darling in english to impress. Big mistake!

"Maii lakshumi, you aaare. Ai looue you. My pondati (wife in english) di you beee"

I'm tripping on words, you've got my head spinning, I don't know where to go from here

"Vichu stop shall i take ticket faar?", she asksu (oops) in equally fluent english. He sighs in

defeat "yenywear dearrr. You aree thear no. That is enuff"

Then i turn back to my window, wondering why this was so weird. When i turned back,

the line was

Everything she does is beautiful, everything she does is right....

She buys a ticket from Mylapore to central and he looks at her fondly as she talks to the

conductor, his eyes looking as though a miracle was happening in front of him.

I turned again, kinda freaked and switched songs. And the next was Holiday by Greenday. I

smiled and thought this could have nothing with them. When i turned to see a slight drizzle

building up. I froze.

Behind me i heard the guy say "Jestu heaar the rain s voice"

And the lines went

Hear the sound of the falling rain, coming down like an armegeddon flame

I got off at the next stop!

Waiting..

I will wait whilst time flies,

Till you smile; there my happiness lies. 

I will wait till you break free,

And come again to be with me.

I will wait through day and wait through night,

Till i see the faintest light.

I will wait, till the end;

I will wait for you, my dear friend.

Woman

Father P calls himself a post-modernist (Actually, i just came up with that). In a heated arguement about whether is it proper for a guy or girl to ask the other out first, he shut my mouth with one of his brilliant one-liners.

Me: I think the guy must make the first move.

Father P: Why? You asked someone out and they rejected you?

Me: That's besides the point, dad.

Father P: Naa.. I think sometimes a woman can make the first move too.

Me: Why should she?

Father P: Cause she's a woman. Has to woo-her-man.

Me: *Bows before the great power* Applause!
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Update:
Me: People think you rock, dad.

Father P: Tell them they are mistaken

Me: Why?

Father P: Cause i'm human being.

Reverie

She stood at the edge of the shore. Her long, braided hair flying truant in the gushing wind, loose strands shadowing her worried face. She steadily moved towards the water, her mind elsewhere.

"What am i going to do now?", she wondered, watching the calming rhythm of the waves crashing upon the shore.  For a minute she lost herself in it and then shook herself awake. Things have to be done. The pain has to pass. But it wouldn't let go. 

She wrapped her saree closer around her figure as though it was cold. It's been a year but it was still fresh in her memory. How would she ever go on? She stole a glance around her and made sure noone was in the vicinity. Suddenly, it seemed easy. If she could just walk into the waves, she would never have to worry again. The pain will momentarily increase but then it will be forever gone....

Her mind drew a blank. She kept walking toward the water. Her pace increased. "I can do this", she said, walking into the water.

"Mummy, are you coming to play too?"

She whirled around and found her five-year-old daughter tugging at her saree. For a moment she was dumbstruck.

"Of course, dear. But it's late. Let's leave. You need to go to school tomorrow and i have work", she went on, lifting the child up and placing her firmly on her waist.

"Can i have ice-cream now?", the kid pushed

"You'll catch a..... yes.. yes, we'll buy a couple of cones at the supermarket near home. Ok?"

"Ok. Chocolate?"

"Hahahaha... sure, darling", she laughed, placing a kiss on her child's forehead.

"Life goes on", she thought, smiling as her daughter returned the kiss.

Down's syndrome

After reading Mark Haddon's 'The Curious case of the dog in the night time', i was thoroughly convinced that father p suffered from down's syndrome. I confronted him with the information:

Me: I think you have down's syndrome

Dad: Huh?

Me: You are so meticulous and catogorical that it drives me nuts. You are a doctor. You should know u have a disease by now.

Dad: You have Up syndrome

Me: Huh?

Dad: You keep messing everything UP which is why i am meticulous about it!

*I wonders why i have such a dad*

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Update

Mayz has awarded me with 2 super cute awards :) Thankss bro 

The Thank You award 

&

Pixie award

:) :) another 2.. hehehehe.. what a week! :) :)