Billa... A review


My saturday evening was mostly occupied watching a movie i didn't know why i watched.. BILLA....

No offense to any Ajit fan out there... i mean... yes, the guy looks really good.. and yea, he can walk... but whats the point of the whole movie? Apart from the gadgetry and style i didn't find anything meaning ful about the movie... i mean the whole movie had only one character... BILLA... how can a movie be so hero-centric? Personally, i couldn't sit thru it...

Billa... a big time don always escapes the police... and Jayprakash DGP (a chocoholic) almost always misses him... and once... both of them try to kill each other but billa dies so Velu a look alike is set up to be Billa by Jay to find out the BIG MAN behind these smuggling operations... and soon Velu comes to know what kind of a nutorious person Billa was but its too late.. he's too deep into the trap!

Yea... i know... it all sounds like a Sidney Sheldon novel.... and yeah, it has a happy ending... yawn!!! what a bore... I'll tell you... apart from the gun wielding, sun glasses wearing hero himself, there's nothing impressive about the movie...

Here's a list of plus points and the minuses.

+ POINTS:
1. Watchable just once, for Ajit's immense risk taking (stunts), his makover and exceptional ramp walking (lol.. i'm kidding... yea the guy has style!)

2. For sheer 'hollywood'-ness of the action sequences

3. Billa's car! (if ur a car buff that is!)

4. Nayanthara's new good looks.... (she really does loook good... at last!)

5. 2 songs... 'My name is billa' and 'Edhavadhu Sei'

6. The scene where velu accidently kills namita (who's role i have not yet able to fathom!) when she finds out hes not billa.. and when his accomplices come.. the way velu changes into billa

7. Santhanam's comedy (though there's not much of this! He's not been used properly)

8. The expert handling of the camera

9. Ajit's and Nayan's wardrobe

- POINTS:

1. Excessive walking by ajit (i think he's totally walked for 2hrs in the 2:30 hr film)

2. Excessive cleavage showcase by nayanthara

3. The absurdity of Namita's role

4. The whole point of the movie

5. Nayanthara's Bikini show (yea, we know she's reduced alot of weight... but DUH!!!)

6. Nayan's horribly failed imitation of Lara Croft (Angie Jolie)

7. Prabu's chocolate/eating spree

8. The climax... i mean... dude!!!!

9. The over excessive AJIT obsession... i mean the only thing i understood about the movie was 'AJIT AJIT AJIT AJIT AJIT'... it was screaming at me... this is what they call hero worship...

10. Lack of comedy n romance (which is in d original)

Anyway.... thats all that i can cover on the movie.. like i said.. this is a personal opinion... no offense to Ajit fans...

On a scale of 10 i would rate it 7

The Unapproachable, Not!


Well... thats not exactly me... but its supposed to be a caricature right?!? Whatever... anyway.. yeah... those are my kinda people... the glasses wearing, rarely smiling, speak when spoken to kind of people who aren't approached by the 'social' bunch.

What i'm trying to say is...well... today i asked one of my friends a doubt thats been eating me up for a long time... why people in a certain place, though free with the others, don't talk to me much.. its almost as if i'm an outcast in the place... i mean... i'm not a saint but i'm a nice enough person... or so i think... and what did she say? "Maybe they think your the studious nerdy kind who s not approachable! even i thought so in the beginning!"

Whoa!!! Not all glasses wearing girls need to be nerds right? i mean.. yes i'm hopelessly shy around people, very reserved... i do my work without talking... i don't do personal stuff during work... and yes, i don't socialize much unless i get really used to the people and the place... But that again is bcoz i'm very very very shy... i can't talk to new people even when they ask me... its just there... but that really doesn't mean i'm anti-social...

I guess there are millions of us 'outcasts' in all settings... well.. all i have to say to those who misunderstand our silence is 'tough luck' cause your probably missing a very special friend in the making...

I can adjust to any kind of situation providing i'm given time... but no, i don't form impressions about people and i don't like them doing the same either. I've heard so many times how friends who 've become really close now have told me "when i first met me i thought you were this really silent person with an attitude. i never liked u much"... now there's a shocker!

Anyway... i do agree... i don't really show the crazy, funny, sarcastic and social persona outside... i do behave like i hate humanity... but i really don't... i just find a pen and a keyboard more comfortable to share jokes and be myself than through the voice... and if people looked beyond the silence and the no-nonsense person they'd find a person just as crazy as them hiding inside...

Yeah,,, i'm getting all philosophical... lol... and no it doesn't suit my PERSHONALITY.... yes i spelt that wrong on purpose... now u know what kind of a person i am :) so its time for me to cheer up n be merry to welcome the new year! :)

And here's an Ode to getting (or trying to get) over my human-hating self into a approacher friendly person :P lol... like that ll happen in the near future...

Burnt!!! Anusha can't cook PART 2


Yes thats chapati... and no i'm not taking cooking lessons... had you read my previous post you'd know that if i started taking cooking lessons people like Tarla Dalal and Sankeev Kapoor will go out of business (yes... if u guys r no more, they won't have any one to teach right?!) :P .... Anyway... this is CHAPTER 2 of... Anusha Can't cook... where i rest my case before the court... yes... I REALLY CAN'T COOK DUDE!~ I hereby submit three exhibits to prove my plea.

Exhibit A: A chapati torn into half , half burnt (which i ate on the way, so BURP! no exhibit left! hehehehe)

Exhibit B: A phulka left burning on the Tava (i shall submit it after exhibit 3)

Exhibit C: A burnt thigh.... no i can't bring pictures of this to save my self esteem....

How did i burn my thigh u ask? I'll tell you... There i was making phulkas... listening to music.... (la la la la....la ba la da la da laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) ... i was now putting the phulka on the tava to cook... (la la la la de da de da de da)..... now on the fire to puff it up (de da dum da de daaaaaaaaaaaaa) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! The phulka has fallen... no not to the ground... from the fire on to my 'clothed' thigh.... surprised? no... this is so Anusha... :P (ROTFL) And the place was was amazing crimson after that... i washed it... leaving the tava to burn.... yea.. i totally forgot about that.... man!!!! my cooking escapades are unforgettable.... I somehow finished the rest of the phulkas without any further damage to property or self.... and then since i wanted to tend to the burning sensation... i took a look at the wound.... and guess what i saw.... BURNT SKIN.... Yea... instead of puffing up phulkas to get soft brown spotted chapatis... i ended up wit BROWN SPOTTED SKIN!!! As for the phulkas... my dad and i managed to eat them :) !!!!!

P.S: My dad had one thing to tell me. "The only person to get burnt by a chapati in this whole world would be you....!!!" I know.... That is so Anusha!!!!!!! :P

Scene of accident come Exhibit B

Anusha can't cook! :P

Long long ago... so long ago... yes, i know how long ago... there was a show that always left me in awe.... 'Yan Can Cook!'...If u have watched that guy cook you'll know what i mean! He's simply amazing..... and yeah, i could just imagine myself throwing up an 8 course mean in my own show... that was until i tried to cook!!!!!!!! Believe me, it was a DISASTER.

Gusteau says "Anyone can cook!" (Ratatouille) but i dont think so. Really. If that movie was half true i'd be able to whip up a decent meal but i'm doomed for life! My dad is already having nightmares about my future :P (wherein i cook and he eats whereas now its the other way round! hehehe!!!)

Let me share with you my experience since teaching is close to my heart (Yeah right!)... The first time i took an effort to cook was in my grade 12 in school when my friend (an eminent chef of our school) and i tried making chocolate fudge... she had a tough time trying to teach me how to make in at my place... since i didn't know where anything was (and thats just a start!) :P ... it went on till she took the task fully into her hands and finally managed to make a decent fudge... that didn't taste very good to the both of us but our class LOVED IT! (I'm yet to know the answer to the mystery! 2 whole boxes of fudge was over in 5 minutes! that must've been some record.) ... yeah so that was my first experience.. but since i had an expert wit me.. it came off half way decent...

But.... i tried to cook on my own!!!!! ah!!! lol... actually... my form of 'trying-to-cook' is trying to make a decent side dish out of a readymade paste... which also i 'sodapified'... i tried to make Kadai Paneer (my fav. side dish)... with a ready made paste... what i didn't realise till i started mixing the paste in water n heating it was... THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CAPSICUM AT HOME!!! ok.. that was only tragedy number 1.... after that i realised i forgot to add curd (u see i was on the phone! yeah, i know what ur thinking) to the paste... tragedy no. 2... then i found out that... the amt of water tht was put in the instructions was proportionate to the portions of paneer n capsicum... which i realised late... and by then... the paneer was floating on a goop of red paste.... ok thats tragedy no. 3.... the fourth tragedy of all... THE ARRIVAL OF MY FATHER INTO THE KITCHEN TO SEE WHAT I WAS DOING.... and there began the downfall of my empire in the kitchen...

I'm not saying my dad can't cook.. infact he cooks really well... i can almost never tell the difference between my dads cooking and my grandmothers (who is an AWESOME cook!) ... that said he doesn't trust me in the kitchen (who would?!).. he came in... and guess what he did? Yeah, he threw me out.. but before that... HE BURST OUT LAUGHING... lolz... ok now it seems funny to me too... but back then i was seething with rage... he had trespassed in the middle of my very important experiment (thats the only word i could call it...) .... the side dish was completely ruined... or so i thought... before my dad turned to SUPER DAD! (its a bird! its a plane! no its SUPER DAD! ... yeah lame!)... and asked me to think creative... ok so i'm creative... but certainly not as much as my dad is in the kitchen.

He thought for a minute.. then added curd and mint leaves... that thickened the goop little bit but still wasn't anywhere near edible... he then made an important decision... he took the morning sabji that was left over (cabbage) and mixed it in the mixture (am i making sense?) and VOILA! U have Kadai Cabbage! And you know what... it doesn't taste so bad! :) Thanks to SUPER DAD... who then turned ordinary dad and threw me out of the kitchen :D .... yeah, thats his territory...

And i didn't venture there on my experiments there again... for a LOOOOOONGGGGG TTIMMMEEEE!!!

P.S: I seem to tease my dad alot in my blogs dont i ? i don't get it either :(

It only takes a minute....

There have been many who have asked me "Can't you take anything seriously?" ..... Yes, I CAN. And, Yes, I DO take alot of things seriously. This is going to be my first serious entry... and hopefully its read-able.

I am basically a serious person. The heights of my crazy humor come out when i write... because i love to write... and it is only when i write that i am myself. All my happiness, my inner personality.... my true self is what i write. And i always try to add the humor element in whatever i do because i feel without humor life gets really dry.

People know me in two ways.... One class of friends know only my playful side... where i'm eternally the butt of jokes, the one with unending sarcasm, jokes pouring out of every corner, the one who can't take anything seriously (except studies, maybe)...

There used to be another class of people who used to call me 'gloomy' once upon a time (yes, me!) coz i could never smile... I was this grouch who was always lost in a separate world and thought the heavens were against me.... I wouldn't socialise... nor would i talk to my friends... i wouldn't pick up their calls... i would sit in my room, lost.... thinking of lost memories... Even now, i don't know why i used to be that way... and how i have now changed into a total extrovert who tries to make people happy....

I'm glad i've changed... though i still do have gloomy times... they only last minutes... because i'm now suffering from an inability to feel bad about anything that happens to me... I know i have to do some things in life... and i don't care about anything else... The world can crash on my head, for all i care... but i'll still go on...

This doesn't mean i've become a stone hearted person... I still feel... I still remember... But i've come past the crying and moaning.... yes, i've not had a great life... yes, i've not been a great person... yes, there have been times where i've been downright evil... but i no longer let them haunt me... because i know they no long matter in life... and i'm not able to feel sad about them... I've done so many mistakes... And i didn't learn then... it took me time to learn.... EVERYTHING... but now i'm learning... slowly still...

I thought i was a mistake.... now i'm starting to believe i came here for something... and i'm not going to return to the earth before i achieve it.... Anyway, enuf of seriousness.... thats my maximum time limit for seriousness in life... :)

Remember... it only takes a minute to lose it all... Always think twice before you act....

P.S: KEEP SMILING.... IT INCREASES YOUR 'FACE' VALUE :) :) :) :)

Rantings of a Pet'less' person (Sigh!)


This is a sign one would find outside my Pet-less home....


Yes yes.... My house is full of pet haters... No we're not inhumane... not me anyway... i have been trying to get a pet (very unsuccessfully) for the past 11 years... yes.. a record... that saga has yet to end... (sob!sob!).... Getting back to the subject... yes... the inhabitants of my home say and i quote "find it difficult to take care of one mongrel" (another name for me, of course) so they feel they don't have the time for another... but fail to realize that i too need one to keep me occupied... And so, i remain pet'less'... not that i've never had pets before.. i've had selfish gold fish and guppies that only eat and swim around the whole day.... and fail to spend time wit me... till i put in a couple of fighter fish into d tank and taught them a lesson (kidding... i'm already being haunted by the ghosts of a couple of those gold fish).... but what i've wanted since i can remember is a dog... i used to watch movies like 'lassie' and 'yeller'... fell in love with dogs.... and from there started the relentless saga of begging my dad and anyone else i could find for a puppy... especially a Golden Retriever... yes... i wanted it real bad... went to the extent of making my room a 'doggy' one... had around 100 posters of them (until a certain hag tore them apart to paint the room!!!) in ma room... so atleast i could look at them and feel like i have a dog... yes was desperate... but i haven't yet succeeded have i??
There's the dog i'll never have (yet)


I came to realise i'll never have a pet in my childhood (and teenage-hood) when a little kitten visited us couple of months back... it made its home in the engine of my dads car (much to his amusement)... and though, knowing the animal activist in me, he let me feed it, he didn't let me pet it or give it a temporary home even.... sad sad!!! ... and then the kitty went away :( and to this day i'm trying to find it back (again unsuccessfully)....

This has been going on.... with my dad promising to get me a pup if i scored well... and almost always he would just be kidding... one day... i realised this is not going to happen until i start earning myself... and i decided to challenge my insensitive father...

I told him... "when i earn, i'm going to get 10 dogs and make them stand in front of you and i'm going to make a zoo out of this house... then lets see what you do..."... yes i intend to do it also... lol... to the utter horror of my dad....

Having said that i'm happy to conclude that my dad is still haunted by the image i put forth to him few months back and has declared that he'll move out of the house if that happens... all the more space for me to get more dogs.... don't you think so?!? ;)

My home in another 6 years or so shall host this sign :)

Musings of a street dog....


Who am i you ask? I'm the one whose tail you stamp on.. the one who cannot lie peacefully on the pavements... the one who cannot cross the roads without meeting with a near-death incident and finally the one, who, because of you, goes to the pound only to be put to death sooner or later.... yes, it is i, the Street Dog... The one who is always otherwise called a 'mongrel'... It is a saddened state that we live in...but i guess we have to make do with it!... By the way.. my name is 'Nai'yan

My day starts with someone stamping on me... when i am rudely awakened from the paradise of my dreams... Then i scavenge for food and water... in a dustbin (or usually outside it), children's hands, a yummy bag of edibles in someone's hand... yes... thats how we live... its the Survival of the fittest... very rarely some animal lover or a kind soul will leave a morsel that will make my day!

Then comes the greatest challenge.. to DRINK WATER... from drains, left over droplets from thrown away bottles... rain pools... anything that has water as a component in it... more than hundreds of my kind die every year from thirst rather than from hunger... it is that hard to find water here... oh yeah, we also try to lick water from the local taps... thats when we actually taste pure, sweet water....

(There's me trying to drink from a local tap... photo courtesy British Bull Dog (he's just another mongrel who thinks he's a pedigree!))

After breakfast my favorite playtime consists of sleeping (with an eye closed), watching the goings on of the city... and how humans (like u) behave... its kind of funny to watch their reaction to me... i mean ... yes i'm not that great looking and no chick (lady dog... not chick literally) really has the hots for me (to my utter disappointment).... but you should really see the varied reactions from the people... some trod past me silently so as to not disturb me... others walk past me as if to tell others how brave they are (chuckles!), others avoid the place and step down from the pavement in disgust and.... others who run away at the sight.. :P

Some times when i'm in a naughty mood i walk about going up to them and shaking my tail in friendship... and more than half (Especially women) shriek and run away!! and some youngsters pat me and offer me a biscuit or so (which i gladly accept and offer to lick their hand at which they run away!)... yes, there are many who are allergic to me...its ok... as long as i get what i want .

My greatest nightmare is CROSSING THE ROAD.... oh boy!!! the traffic sends me reeling back to where i was... i spend an hour a day try to cross twice... man!!!!! i wonder how you humans cross the roads... i can't .. i tell u... they must appoint a K9 traffic police that can allow 'pooch crossing'... its not fair that only zabra's have it... and they don't even stay in the city!!!!

In the evenings i go near temples and marriage halls where loads of left over food and offerings are dumped... and where few of my friends and i feast... which makes for tea and early dinner... after which i retire to a slightly dark place.... and lay down to rest afresh for another day...

People ask me... have i even bit anyone... not really.. i mean, we're not mad to bite unless you try to want me to bite u.. i mean when you stick your hand between my teeth, how can i not bite you? you're just asking for it......

And oh yeah... you can send me your feed back... to 98-49-1-pooch

One day in the life of..... A tender coconut vendor


Crazy as it may seem... what would it be like to be one of Chennai's coconut vvendors, littering the streets, racing against time and comeptition... right now taking technology to the latest by doing a home delivery (with the help of a mobile phone) and door-to-door service.... yes, one's life can never be complete without having a tender coconut atleast once a month... here's what goes through (presumably ) their mind...

Another day.... hopefully today's business goes good... its 5 a.m... have to wake myself up and tidy up the place and set those darn coconuts in line... someday i'm going to go nuts and join them!! I'm most sure of it... YAWN!!! I'm most sleepy... i only went to bed last night after midnight.. its not fair that i have to work all 7 days of the week for more than 13 hours and i still have just enough for that day's meal.

What!! My lazy wife is still asleep.. I go and sweat all day and night and here this creature knows nothing but to spend my money and here she snores like a bore!!! "Wake up you wretched woman!!! Go make me some coffee and tiffen, i need to leave for work"... Ah!! She's woken up... One kick on her back and she'll.... shhhh!! Someone may hear me and book me on a sexual harassment case... Oh i love my wife so much... i don't know what i'd do without her (or with her, for that matter!)... Ahh!! Hot Steaming coffee... There that woman complains about not having enough money to buy more coffee powder.. She never has enough money!!!! I must escape before she goes on...

Business is about to begin.... I'm sitting.... its HOT... i'm sitting.... and sitting.... and sitting.... and sitting.... zzzzZZZZ!!! Uh! A customer!! "Sir, i'm not asleep. Just resting my eyes. I heard from a yogi that closing your eyes can vitalize your senses. How many? Only one!?!? Its only Rs.10 sir. Buy one for the lovely lady (please!) also. No? Alright. Take it. cutting the coconut (wish i could cut his head off.. whats the use of only one coconut!!!! he can afford more!)... Here sir... You're cancelling it? But i cut it sir. You don't want. Ok thank you (not!! Go hit your head somewhere!!!)

Sitting... sitting... sitting.... Hey!! You dog!!! don't steal that coconut... awww he's looking at me with his doggy eyes.. ok you can have this bit.... HEY!!!! YOU NASTY PIECE OF DUNG!!! YOU STOLE THE WHOLE THING!!! DON'T RUN!!!!!

Sitting.... sitting... sitting.... "Sister whats the time??" Hey why you walking off?!?! I'm not going to rape you am i? I just want to know the time! I've already got one woman to deal with. Don't need anymore. A good man can't live peacefully these days!!!

Sitting... sitting.... sitting... sitting... sitting... sitting... sitting.... This is so boring...!!! Ah here comes a whole family!!! "How many madam?! seven!! Oh thats good. Would you like to pack one or two? No? Thats ok... its Rs.15 each. Costly? No, no. No shop is as cheap as ours!! I guarantee you that this is the standard rate now in the market. Ok madam. Instead of Rs.105, give me Rs.100.. I'm thinking of you as a sister, hence the discount. Thank you. " That ought to take care of today's food. Now to catch up on some lost sleep.

"What are you doing!?!?!? You're supposed to do business not sleep in the middle of the day!!! How will we survive if you do this?.... "bla bla bla... Oh no!! Its her!!! But why is she here? Oh, that woman must 've brought my lunch!! Dang! I should buy an alarm clock and set the alarm so as to get up before she comes. "Shut up! I know how to handle my busines... what do you know about business anyway? You only know to spend my money and eat!!! Nonsense!!! Leave the food and go. Don't get on my nerves!" Ah!! she's gone. Here comes my friend... my only regular customer. I always give her a discount because she's a student and she always leaves me an extra rupee as a tip.. Nice girl... Bless her! "Hi ma! How was your day? The usual? ok. Here it is... no no... no tips needed... oh!! thank you..." the only problem with her is that she never strikes up a conversation. A sort of shy creature. Its ok. Atleast one of my customers is nice.

Sitting.... sitting.... sitting.... Thats it!! I can't take it anymore!!! Its soooooo boring. And i've already got enough for the day.... oh here comes another lady... she's coming coming... and gone!! Stupid lady!! Why'd she come this way if she's not going to buy... cha! waste of attention... I'm going back home early tonight. Need sleep. YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goodnight...