Is left, right?


For all you right handers out here... i would like to tell you that i exist. Yes, you probably know that already but this world is a frustrating place for left handers... I will cite out some instances right from my childhood that has had me fuming BCOZ THE WORLD IS RIGHT HANDER FRIENDLY and ignores the needs and aspirations of the left handed population. Why so much fumes? Read on..

Oh by the way... if u haven't guessed by now...... i'm left handed... :D

When i was a tiny little girl who was learning to write a,b,c,b (shit.. d.. i mean.. i still confuse the side on which the curve should come.. right handed chauvinism)... my aunt was trying to make me right handed.. she would sit with me and try to make me write A with my right hand but i always threw the pencil on her face (lovingly.. i was a kid no) and told her i couldn't write.. then one day, magically i wrote 'a, b and c' with my left hand.. and from then on i was christened a left hander... the 'one who wrote with the other hand'... my parents tried to make me write with my right hand.. but i couldn't even hold a pencil in my right whereas i was already writing poetry with my left

excerpts from my LKG poem

Ga ga gu gu gum..
I have a bottle of rum.
Now i drank it and want to piss,
Oops.. my parents just saw this..

So you see, not many people were appreciative of me being in the elite group of people who could write with their left hand. But it made me popular in school. Teachers and students used to pause and watch in awe, the way i turned my book upside down and wrote whatever i did. Now, the problem began when i started doing everything with my left hand...

I used to eat with my left hand too.. right up to my 4th std until my father one day taught me the realities of life.. actually.. taught me alternative uses of my left hand. Since then, i have accustomed myself to eating with my right hand..

So... there i lost the freedom of eating with my left hand but became ambidextrous. Only in eating. I still can't hold a pencil with my right hand!

In this world, everything is so right oriented. Right from the scissors to the vegetable skin peeler.. I CAN'T USE ANYTHING BECAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR RIGHT HANDED PEOPLE!

Even during exams.. i was always the one with the right hander desk. I would then run behind the teacher, fight, lose time.. get a left hander desk only to discover that there's only ten minutes left before i had to submit my paper... sometimes, i would decide to bear the brunt.. i would twist and turn in the chair only to make the invigilator think i was copying (when i wasn't!) ... so i'd get thrown out of the room or land up with a bad back ache after three hours of sitting at very uncomfortable angles.

EVEN BENCHES WERE A PAIN. I remember how i was made to sit between 2 right handed boys during an exam. Apart from hitting my hand every other second, both of them had one main aim; to not let me write my exam. One guy would complain about the number of extra sheets i kept asking for and the other would ask to write with my pen.. and when i took another one to write.. he would ask for that.. and later admit that he wanted to write with the pen i wrote to see if he could write with this left hand! And if i turned the paper sideways by 90 degrees, both of them would shout in protest, thereby making me temporarily deaf! This was why i never did well in my exams! (I wish my dad would read this!)

Someone had told my uncle that left handers are dumb. So, he would spend hours teaching me random stuff... only to find me completely disinterested and half asleep. The same person had also told him left-handers were good at art. He didn't consider writing an art.. so he decided to teach me to draw.. thinking that i had some inborn talent that is sleeping.. the talent wasn't sleeping.. i was.. when he shoved a paper up my nose and demanded that i draw.. no matter how much he taught me i could still only manage a cat with an '8' figure and a very sad version of micky mouse.. that looked like something out of 'ET'.

At home.. everything was and is right hander friendly. I can never cut with the scissors (the blunt side faces the paper when i use my left hand) and never peel vegetables.. my dad thinks i use this as an excuse to refrain from doing work! He should try peeling vegetables holding the peeler upside down!

Also, when you write exams, people stare so much at your hands that the lecturer invariably thinks they are trying to copy out of your paper.. if only she knew what i was writing.. and how connected it was to the question..

Another thing about me being left handed is the painful jokes that my dad cracks at me.. he is someone who takes pleasure out of my pain.. so whenever he needs to cut something here's our conversation;

Dad: Can you cut this strip of paper

*I give him sarcastic look*

Dad: Well?

Me: Don't you know i can't cut with the scissors?

Dad: Try..

*Innocent me takes scissors and tries to cut.. it doesn't cut*

Dad: Hehehehe... left handers are supposed to use the 'right side of their brains'.. i guess that's difficult for you, considering you don't have any.. no wonder your not able to use the scissors and you claim to be 20!

*Me seeths*

Dad: Go peel that carrot

*Me turns red*

Dad: Oh, i forgot.. you can't do that either

*Dad continues laughing for the next ten minutes*

*Grandma walks in*

Grandma: Why are you laughing?

Dad: She calls herself an adult but can't cut a paper with a pair of scissors!

Grandma: Why?

Dad: Because she's a left hander! Hahahahaha

Grandma: Hahahaha *As though it is the funniest joke she has heard in ages*

Me: Even Obama is a left hander.. someday, i will become someone great like him.. then you won't laugh

Dad and Grandma : HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... This is the funniest joke i've heard in ages!

*Both laugh as i walk away, mental images involving hammers and nails*

18 comments:

Chriz said...

haha...

leftie..... me tooooooooooooooooooooooo...


i used to eat and clean with that same left hand

and i had the habit of sucking my left thumb tooo...

and later my folks changed this habit


and then it was right hand for all the reasons...

now i am still confused where the turning point happened...


do you suck your thumb?


liked your poem girl...

Usha Pisharody said...

Deep empathy from another leftie.. :)

The times were earlier, much earlier when I did my schooling, and I was forced into right handed writing, and right handed cutting with scissors.. but everything else, except eating, and writing, I do with my left hand...
It still amazes people of my gen. 40+ that I managed to get away with doing so much with my left hand :) :)

Oh I loved this post.. but now, I am not confused anymore.. :) Made peace with my condition, lol! It's the others, who have a problem, the way I look at it, lol!

VIDYA said...

a left handed people's conference happening here? considering the left handed people who have commented on the post.

anyway i ve always wanted to be left handed coz it looked cool, till i realsied that there snt any point in trying to write with my left hand, when my right handed handwriting itself is illegible.
lots of great ppl r left handed, u know i read somewr tht thr is a shop with goods for left handed people.

Rash said...

Hey!
I like ur post! Its funny :D and i love ur convo with ur dad. Nice one!

Good luck leftie :)

prathul said...

Funny poem. You grew up too fast :P

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ chriz

ur also leftie? :P lol... who wud've known! And yea i used to suck my left thumb too! :P

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ usha

wow.. 2 lefties comment on my post.. hehehe and yea.. its a 'good' condition now.. :) lol

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ vidya

good point lady... and let me know where that shop is

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ rash

thank u thank u :) guess u've started following my blog now.. or does it hav something to do wit someone telling u that it'll be about u.. u know ur not tat imp.. :P

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ prathul

tell me abt it :P lol

Archana said...

Your dad is a very nice man wolfie, I tell you.:-)

Superb poem that was. Too simple , childish and made me feel i was looking back pages in my archives:-)

I don't really know what to comment over your left hand addiction. People are different. You are one of a kind:-)

mayz said...

i m so jealous of lefties...i think they r really cool!!!
i feel so normal :(

Moonlight n Magnolias said...

I agree with Mayz... its definitely "cool" being unique as a leftie... but after reading all the impracticalities that u've listed out, maybe being right handed is for the best after all! :P

Nice post :)

MultiMenon said...

hahaha..

u a leftie??

Poor u,Even I too sumtyms get the impression of the right handed favouritism tht exists(mayb I feel so),but then,Sachin tendulkar is left handed(in writing) and so was gandhiji(he cud use both though)..

heeehhee..am enjoyin des posts..keep em cumin.. :p

Nikhil

Arv said...

hmmm... this world is biased, damn...

I can write with both hands but my parents told me its worse cos my handwriting sucks anyways...

see, left is better than both :)

Thoorika said...

Read dis post late cos of my damn net connection !! for once i tot you wrote dis post cos of today's incident!!

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Lol! I cant stop laughing out loud!

Awesome poem!

and hey, I wish I was a left hander! Talks volumes about being ultra creative!

I completely agree with Mayz! ;(

samantha said...

oh u poor thing......u know wat
i know what to get u from melbourne
left-handed scissors and vegetable peeler.....lol