"Hey baby", she called out. I looked up and I wondered again, how i had gotten myself into such a big mess. She came and wrapped her arms around my neck, choking me in the process and i reminded myself again how i was forced to swallow my anger and alot of other things like pride, self respect and.... my life!
I suddenly couldn't control my anger and as she came close to lay a kiss (oh man!) on my lips, i freaked out "Get off me!!! get off! get off!" and i start running away. She chases me in her bikini, on the road and people watch. Not that it matters. What matters is my life. And i must save it before she comes to me again. Oh man! What a horror story, just when i thought i had found true love.
I run and find myself barging into an abandoned barn, after 3 hrs of running. I don't know where she is. And i don't want to. I pant out of exhaustion and fatigue. To make a 61 year old man run for 3 hours was a miracle! But, forget that for now. All i want to do now is sit and think. I climb up on a stack of rotting hay and make myself hidden and cozy and look at my hand.
Fuck! The wedding ring is still there. If i could somehow try to get it off my hand, maybe, i pray, maybe she'd go away. But i've been trying to remove it for the past 35 years. I've used everything from oil to soap to.... well.. i'd rather not mention my other 'lubricants'. But the damn thing wont' come off. I didn't realise when she said "I want you to keep it nice and tight" she actually was tying a noose around my throat!
Also, by now you would've figured out that this person i'm talking about is my... W....W...W..W......Wi.........f....fff...f...f.f.f...eeeeeeee (shhh!!! don't say it out loud! she may hear you!).
Anyway, I'm chris, a 61 year old martyr who will be laying down his life soon for the sake of humanity. What else can you say about a young man who fell in love with a maniac during an adventure into a haunted mansion, only to find out that the mansion was not haunted but she was!
I thought she was an angel and realised later that by angel i was wishing she would get upto heaven sooner. I thought she was my soul mate. Now i realise she has no soul. And mating... well... that's another story!
I've been married to her for freakin 35 years. Why have i wasted so many years, you may ask. Well, for one, i couldn't get anyone else to dump her for. Second reason being i like the colour of the leather belts, whips, clips, cutters, satin and some....other...things... that she owns... seems stupid huh... can you blame me? i am stupid. i was stupid enough to think she was sane...
I twirl my ring and i remember the day i met her, as it was yesterday. That's the only thought i use to keep consoling myself. "It seems like yesterday. You've lived with her for only a day. That's not so bad". ..... well... that was one of the good moments.... and that HOT shower scene... yea... that too....
It all began on a sunday morning when i decided to investigate a dilapitated house on my own. And i saw. I knew then... it was love.... oh btw.. by love i mean... Lots Of Very tasty Enchiladas... but the author of this story.. being the dull head she is.. thought i was talking about the girl behind the enchilada stall.. hence my life has been ruined.