Posted by Elithraniel Arawion on Friday, October 10, 2008
Today... after months of neglecting a lost friend.. i will find solace in writing again... i know i've been most irritating... coz i haven't really bothered to write much here for a long time... so i'll try filling up a lil more space today...
You must always remember... no matter how insignificant the matter is... today i will remember those small moments that sometimes, we forget but make all the difference..
1. My uncle who used to take me out for rides when i was little... a girl of 3... and how he used to play wit me... lifting me up in the air... and how he passed on suddenly... when i was getting ready for school... one morning... tying my shoe laces... i was in UKG... and i was whisked away b4 it cud sink in. Eventually, they said he had gone abroad... a lie most adults think will protect kids from pain. but it doesn't.
2. My LKG and UKG teacher who looked after me like her own child. Thank you Miss. Shashi Jayaraj. I still remember you.
3. My mother teaching me maths and me begging her not to hit me because i JUST COULDN'T get those sums into my head.
4. My dad cooking up stories to feed me my breakfast before i left to school
5. My aunt, who brought me up, getting married and leaving the city, leaving a huge house and a small heart empty
6. The day the most important person in my life, shedding tears because of me
7. Derick Stanley
8. The day Derick left
9. The day i attempted suicide, foolishly... now regretting it... but drinking in from the experience
10. The day my friend gifted me a rubber.. which i still keep treasured.
11. My new school... 9th standard... trying to make friends
12. 10th - 11th standard.... gang of girls who did everything together
13. Miss. Soans.... opening up my eyes to what i loved most... writing. I looked upon her as a mentor, and still do.
14. My emotionally unstable brain that lapsed from chronic depression to extreme happiness
15. Kripa and the unforgettable episode that followed...
16. Board exams.... determination... rage... a fire to prove myself
17. Proving myself... go against every pre determined notion about me... the satisfaction of being looked up by for the first time in 16 years
18. College... indecisive.. crushed... depressed... again
19. Making friends... again
20. Gang of 3 who did.. still do.. things together...
21. Catastrophic episodes... again....
21. finding a place where i am appreciated... a place where i feel like giving my best... for the very first time
22. Making my dad proud... for the very first time
23. Self confidence is at a high... for the very first time
24. Self realization and awareness at a high... for the very first time
25. Finding a new teacher... one who has helped me open up completely and is still helping... who was instrumental yet only incidental in changing me....
Yes... i remember... and will continue to do so... for the rest of my life...