I remember....

Today... after months of neglecting a lost friend.. i will find solace in writing again... i know i've been most irritating... coz i haven't really bothered to write much here for a long time... so i'll try filling up a lil more space today...

You must always remember... no matter how insignificant the matter is... today i will remember those small moments that sometimes, we forget but make all the difference..

I remember...

1. My uncle who used to take me out for rides when i was little... a girl of 3... and how he used to play wit me... lifting me up in the air... and how he passed on suddenly... when i was getting ready for school... one morning... tying my shoe laces... i was in UKG... and i was whisked away b4 it cud sink in. Eventually, they said he had gone abroad... a lie most adults think will protect kids from pain. but it doesn't.

2. My LKG and UKG teacher who looked after me like her own child. Thank you Miss. Shashi Jayaraj. I still remember you.

3. My mother teaching me maths and me begging her not to hit me because i JUST COULDN'T get those sums into my head.

4. My dad cooking up stories to feed me my breakfast before i left to school

5. My aunt, who brought me up, getting married and leaving the city, leaving a huge house and a small heart empty

6. The day the most important person in my life, shedding tears because of me

7. Derick Stanley

8. The day Derick left

9. The day i attempted suicide, foolishly... now regretting it... but drinking in from the experience

10. The day my friend gifted me a rubber.. which i still keep treasured.

11. My new school... 9th standard... trying to make friends

12. 10th - 11th standard.... gang of girls who did everything together

13. Miss. Soans.... opening up my eyes to what i loved most... writing. I looked upon her as a mentor, and still do.

14. My emotionally unstable brain that lapsed from chronic depression to extreme happiness

15. Kripa and the unforgettable episode that followed...

16. Board exams.... determination... rage... a fire to prove myself

17. Proving myself... go against every pre determined notion about me... the satisfaction of being looked up by for the first time in 16 years

18. College... indecisive.. crushed... depressed... again

19. Making friends... again

20. Gang of 3 who did.. still do.. things together...

21. Catastrophic episodes... again....

21. finding a place where i am appreciated... a place where i feel like giving my best... for the very first time

22. Making my dad proud... for the very first time

23. Self confidence is at a high... for the very first time

24. Self realization and awareness at a high... for the very first time

25. Finding a new teacher... one who has helped me open up completely and is still helping... who was instrumental yet only incidental in changing me....

Yes... i remember... and will continue to do so... for the rest of my life...


Thoorika said...

You are special in your own way. Realize that.

Take Care!

Elithraniel Arawion said...

ok let me clarify here.. the bad memories are those i don't care about anymore.. which is why they are here... the good ones are there to share :)

Thoorika said...

Happy tat you shared! Good!

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Moonlight n Magnolias said...

awesome post de... well... if u say u've forgotten the bad memories... I'm glad :) and I second thoorika.... you are an awesome person in your way...! and you always have us 2 share anything with :-)

Btw, all of us go thru these things at some point of time or the other... even I have faced selfconfidence-all-tome-lows... and stuff... but we gradually get out of it... and when we finally do get out of it and look back, the whole thing seems a lil stupid!

Its ok ma... I still have faith in you! :P

Elithraniel Arawion said...

:) .... thanks guys