THE MOMENT HAS COME.....

A couple of days past the disastrous constitution exam.. which was set by a staunch radical feminist by the way... since all the questioned invariably revolved around women (punishment for sexual harrasment, punishment for dowry, punishment for rape, what is womens rights, what are the crimes against women, what is child rights)... i guess u get the picture! Anyway my so called current affairs paper was due yesterday... i sat the entire day in front of the computer, getting a tumor like headache... studyin ever single ISHOEEEEE my hod had asked us to.. and guess what... as usuall none of them came!

Anyway.. my paper had a lot of crosses and scratches coz i had to abandon my sarcasm and do some serious thinking.. anyway these are some of the answers i struck out in my paper.

DELETED SCENES FROM CURRENT AFFAIRS (I) PAPER....
-By Elithra (hehehe)

Statutory warning: These answers were scratched out. All the answers written below were written by professional bull shitters. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS IN YOUR NEXT EXAM PAPER.

Section - A

1. What is Dera Sacha Sauda?
Mujhe hindi nahi maalum

2. What do you knw about green india?
In the world map, they colour water blue and the land masses as green. India is a land mass so it has been coloured green. Therefore, it is called green india.

3. What do you know about MDMK?
I know that it exists, thanks to this question

4. Who is Kanimozhi?
She is Karunanidhi's daughter and her name translates to "Fruit Language" in tamil.

5. Controversies surrounding 'Kuselan'?
How many hours of photoshop did it take to make Rajini look young? The technician said only 2 hours. This angered the public who started mass demonstrations saying it was impossible to make him look that young in just 2 hours.

6. What do you know about 123 agreement?
That 1 had an agreement with 2 that 1+2=3....

7. What is Sethu Ramar controvesy?
There was this guy, you know, who's name was Rama. This guy, like, built, like this big bridge kinds with the help of some really awesome monkeys who had magical powers and all like houdini. And like this bridge, like, still exists today and like this guy, the minister, he wanted to break it. But these hindus are like, you know, protesting against. So the government was kinda confused so, you know, they've set up a panel, to, like, investigate.

8. Who is Aarushi?
Aarushi is a girl. A species of the female gender. He belongs to the 'human beings' race. She was aged 14. Which means she was born in 1994. But sadly, in 2008 she was killed by some guy, who is part of the male species of the human beings race.

Section B

1. What is 'Big Dog'?
It's a dog that's big? Canines suffer from 2 syndomes called 'dwarfism' and 'gigantism', like humans. Dwarfism is when the dogs are too small like poodles and gigantism is wen the dogs are extremely big like Great Dane. These dogs are called 'Big Dogs'. It is a slang that is usually used by kids to explain the size of a dog. It is also used by students to shout at some members of their staff. Sometimes the female gender of this word is also used.

2. TN govt's stand on cauvery issue?
Cauvery is a water body that flows from TN to Karnataka. Just because its called a water body does not mean it has a body. And one cannot stand on water body. They can either float or swim or drown. And as far as i know cauvery has no issues wit Tamil Nadu. So, this question is mundane and totally wrong. Please specify manner of stance.

3. Write short notes on LTTE.
I know LTTE is called Lankan Tigers of Tamil Eelam. But since i don't know anything else, I will be writing a thesis on another LTTE : Love Through Talking on Eenternet. This is basically because of youngsters taaaking on the eenternet. They faalings in the loves and later havings the runnings aways from the homes to marry. This because they wants the friandships and loveships with the strangers. It is spoiling the indian cultures.

Recently also my friend is fallings in the loves with one guy she meetings onlines. But when they meetings in persons she found that he was 23 years older than her and is the fathers of 3 childrens. Please give me suggestions how to console her!

4. Write notes on Hyde Act.
Ever since the dawn of civilization children and adults alike have been playing Hide and Seek. Keeping that in mind, since India and USA have been playing hide and seek in battling terror, they have come up with an act called HYDE ACT. This act will mandate and regulate the visionary game of hide and seek. And this has nothing to do with chocolate chips hiding inside a chocolate buiscuit.

1. The seeker must find the catcher within 2 months or there wil the penalty.
2. The hider must, at some point of time, give himself up if seeker cannot catch him. This is to make the game more interesting.
3. After giving himself up, the hider can escape again, if he wants to.
4. If hider hides second time, seeker should himself on the wall 10 times.
5. The name of the game is hide and seek. This act was called 'hyde' act because of numerology.

27 comments:

prabhu said...

Hey tat HYDE ACT is terrific.. keep it up.. i follow the same style in my papers too.. ;)

Moonlight n Magnolias said...

U r simbly tooooooooo funny de!!! God.. i just died laughing after reading this post!

Elithraniel Arawion said...

heheheh thank u thank u :P

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ prabu:
welcome to ma blog :) hope u visit again.. thanks... i think we all follow the same rules ;)

prabhu said...

its an honour, elithraniel :) .. u wont believe what i'm doin now.. tom i've my university lab exam and i'm reading ur blog instead of my record.. haha.. :)

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@prabu:

guess what... i'm doing the same thing... heehee

chriz said...

hehe.. that was funny.. made me laff..

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ chriz
yay! u laughed :P

prabhu said...

Hope u like my blog.. it does not have the glamour of your blog.. haha..

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ prabu
its a nice blog... mine has no glamour... :P

@ chriz
do not see the above comment

prabhu said...

come on.. yours is the most glamorous blog on the planet :)

haha.. we'll continue this after a while.. gonna have my dinner now.. (reading ur blog has made me hungry :p)

prabhu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
VIDYA said...

LOL! like LOLLL...

I wrote one like this last yr chek it out sometime, http://vannilavidya.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html

keep it coming child! ur blog gives me the much deserved laugh! :D

Elithraniel Arawion said...

lol... thanks vid :P

Thoorika said...

Evaluator point of view : Lots of spelling mistakes young lady. Improve your language :P

Your fav mam point of view : How can you write like this ma? Your ans should be clear and concise. You scandalized my teaching experience. How can you do this to me? You know I woke up at 2 in the night worrying about you. I am very upset with you maaaaaa :P :P

Thoorika point of view : Just pray that "you know who" never hits upon your blog!!!! Otherwise both of us are dead. :P :P :P Nice post!!!

Chriz said...

@anusha
is that the prabhu you were talking about?

no !! he seems to be a good boy.. he is not hitting on you kid...

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@chriz
i know he isn't. I hope you aren't! *wink*

@ thoorika
I'm very opppseetttt wit u ma.. how can you criticise my post ma... you have betrayed me maaa

prabhu said...

iyyo.. i dont want to hit on anyone.. thanks a lot for the motivation..

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ prabu
I never told chriz anything.. that guy's out to get me!

prabhu said...

hey tats okie.. i didnt mistake anything.. was just kidding :)

mayz said...

hahahahaha!!!! that was fun to read

Chriz said...

@prabhu
you are a sweetheart.. btw, i have archived the entire chat manuscript that i had with anusha

@anusha
i am not MJ to molest kids.. go drink milk and go to sleep kid

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ chriz
what chat? what manuscript? ur talkin as tho u know me... maybe ur a PC not an MJ... :P

@ Prabu
Thanks

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ mayz

thanks

prabhu said...

Welcome :)

ThinkAloud!! said...

lol!ur hilarious anusha!!!

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ asha

thanks thanks