Mock 'Resume'!



Today i shall write my mock 'resume' (res-u-um) and not resume (res-u-may). I know my pronunciation is a catastrophe (cat-ass-troff) not catastrophe (cut-as-tro-phi) but i'm following the rules of a leadership and career management specialist who has been taking classes for me for the past 2 days. I wonder how she manages her career with that kinda pronunciation!

Anyway.. she was 'teaching' us how to write a resume (revert to first pronunciation at this point)... As i was listening, i went into a trance (actually i think i slept since the lecturer woke me up saying she heard snoring sounds coming from my 'trance' like state)... my alter ego took over and this is not mine but Misty's mock resume..

DO NOT SUE ME OR FILE DEFAMATION CASE AGAINST ME SINCE I'M NOT WRITING THIS IS MY RIGHT MIND. MY ALTER EGO IS RESPONSIBLE.

MISTY'S RESUME (THE RIGHT PRONUNCIATION NOW)

Misty
yourname@yourdomain.in
I've gone mobile too many times to keep count! Sorry..


Objective: To have enough money to bust on weed, marijuana and some booze
To buy some kick ass clothes
To get a sassy new car
To get truckloads of chocolates and put on another tonne
Oh yeah.. to be a committed, determined, sensitive journalist and all that bullshit too..

Qualification: A PhD. in bathroom singing
Can balance a lemon on a spoon and has won many lemon and spoon races
Qualified overweight champion in school
Oh yeah, i did some college degree... didn't i? And yeah, i'm good at writing... but you know.. i'm a qualified nut cracker.. when it comes to self defence.. if some guy ever tries... ahem! ahem!

Educational Qualification: Passed LKG with merit card
UKG > Same as above..
1-5 > Britannia super champ badge holder
6-10 > Failed in every subject except english
11-12 > Scraped through
College> What degree am i doing again?

Work experience: Washing vessels in house
Cooking slightly but not too successfully (burnt chapathi is evidence)
Ironing my own clothes
14 years of school
20 years of brushing teeth and eating

Extra curricular activities: Jumping over walls to bunk college
Short hand.. passing notes in class
Spending money regularly in coffee day
Reference: Father.... oh! on second thoughts, rub that off.
For further reference please contact me only.. why you need others, i say!

Languages known: Would you believe me if i told you i know icelandic? No right.. then what a stupid koshtin.. i know english.. ain't that enough?

Date: How about next saturday? (wink)

Personal Data:

Name: MISTY

Sex: Not yet...

Marital status: Single (only if u want me to be)

DOB: + BY = DOBBY

E-mail: How many times do i have to tell ya?

Declaration

I swear i am upto no good. Rest assured, evilness guarenteed.


Misty
Signature


30 comments:

Rakesh said...

lol...! the alter ego is on a roll!! :)

Moonlight n Magnolias said...

lollll :))

mayz said...

hahahahahaha!!!!
that was hillarious....

ps : ur alter ego is a harry potter fan :D

Chriz said...

sex: not yet

the information i got i wrong i guess

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ rakesh...
thanks for visiting. yes, my alter ego is extremely unpredictable.

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ iyshu..

hehehe.. thanks :P

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ mayz

really? i didn't notice.. shall ask her and tell u :)

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ chriz

stop spying on me

Thoorika said...

Jumping over walls to bunk college??

young lady you never told me about this!!!!

nan said...

lolz!!:D

Priya Joyce said...

hahaa I had a gud lafff..lol on that..bunking stuffs...
I too hav many such...haha happy to see a mischevious soul..:P

claire said...

Haha..good one..Nice resu-um.. ;p
that alter ego of yours set to get an interview.. :D

~Free Student Resume Network for jobs, internships, projects and more. Get Listed, Get found, Get Hired. Visit NUresume at www.nuresume.com and start building your free student online resume!

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ priya

Thanks :)

Swetha said...

its hilarious!!! i jus loved it!!!

VIDYA said...

LOL!

Voldi said...

nice-one...

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