BUS > Battle for Your Sanity

I guess my title would give you an idea of what i'm talking about. Today, after 2 yrs of blissful living i again went back to the lonnnnnnnnnnng bus rides to ekkaduthangal from my place. It's only for 6 more days, yet i don't think i'll be able to stand the 1.5 hr to and fro journey. Not only are the a/c buses evading me when i'm at the bus stop, the sheer crowd and the way the crowd is usually just puts me off... anyway.. here's a list of reason why a BUS is a Battle for Your Sanity...

1. If you ever get a seat, which rarely happens, you always get it just one stop before yours.

2. When you are sitting, especially on the passenger side, you are constantly disturbed by a large protruding stomach of some middle aged woman who has decided to make your head her stomach stand!

3. The man standing behind you thinks you are an extended version of the beam and holds your arm instead of the beam!

4. The conductor 'forgets' to stop the bus at your stop and you have to trudge along a long way from the next stop.

5. Just as you find a seat and dream of sitting the rest of the way, a woman from the back puts her bag there to 'mark her territory'

6. You stand there dreaming of buying a scooty someday and cruise your way to work when the driver puts sudden break and you are thrown forward onto a toothless 70 year old man who thinks you are trying to flirt with him.

7. The conducter thinks he is the supreme commander and gives you dirty looks when you ask him for a 2 rs ticket and give him a 100 rs. note.

8. You try to listen to music but invariably everytime you turn on your headphones, you find the lady next to you in a deep, sickeningly sweet romantic conversation with her significant other which involves very tough hard core discussions like "What did u have for lunch? oh this ahh.. hehehehehhe.. i had this.. chi po.. my mother makes it so much better"... and all you can do is roll your eyes.

9. You try to manouver yourself to the steps to get down and exactly as you try to squeeze yourself between a woman and a man, the lady rips out her umbrella which hits you right in your stomach!

10. You wait at the bus stop for one hour and by the time your bus comes your are so exhausted you no longer care if it's overflowing. But just as you get in and the bus starts you turn back to find an impossibly empty bus at the stop, with literally no one getting on it! Your stomach burns and turns black!

11. As you struggle to get down from the bus, a sea of people decide to rush in, bamboozing you back into the bus. Sigh!

12. You try to distract yourself from depression and look out the window when you are frightened by the sudden appearance of a face, upside down asking you where the bus is at. And after you get over the shock, you realise there are people not only in the bus, but also on top of it!

13. By the time you reach your destination, you have lost a considerable amount of weight and sanity! You glare at every passer-by with suspicious eyes; especially middle aged women with large tummys. You also stay 10 feet away from umbrellas and develop a mortal fear for old men with toothless smiles, even if they happen to be who you are supposed to meet!