Its THE CAMERA!!!!!!!

I don't think you'd have gotten the picture... no, i know for a fact that you can see the chimp on the screen above these letters... but tats not who this post if about (yes he/she is adorable... and yes in this post it will b assumed as me).... its about my BIGGEST MOST DANGEROUS MOST EVER LASTING FEAR..... OF THE CAMERA!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!1 I can face an anaconda or a gladiator who thinks i'm his lunch or even my dad when hes angry (yes, when he gets mad, he blows his top!! very scary!!!!!!!) but i simply cannot bear PHOTOS... I mean, way past not knowing how to smile, stand and having a face like the above on camera (no, i'm not bad looking... or so i think... i just don't have a 'very' - thats an understatement- photogenic face).... And yes, i'm 'obsessed' with putting myself down... lol... as u all know if u had read my previous posts... its a compulsion from within... like my english lecturer quoted today from Nehru's lines 'if you must suffer, suffer for the sake of the country'.. i'm embarrassing myself for the sake of my readers (if there are any that is! i'm kidding! don't go anywhere from my blog :P )....

My fear of photos has been fairly recent... When i was a little kid.... i would happily pose for any camera aimed at me... because i loved being the centre of attention... and that one moment when the camera concentrates on you... and only you (well.. apart from the others and the background... ahh.. not so important as ME)... its a feeling of being hiiiiiighhhhhhh and yes, i loved pictures...

I wouldn't say i hated photos as soon as i hit puberty... but somewhere along my senior years in school.... maybe because i had all photo-loving (obsessed more like) girls around me, i started to feel really uncomfortable around the camera.... in most of the pictures (forced, tortured ones!!) i would either hide my face or turn away... or will be in the middle of a wrestling match with a certain friend who wants a photo... i simply can't handle them... I CAN'T STARE AT A GLASS LENS, FOR CHRISTS' SAKE!!!!!!! And the irony of the whole thing is, I really DON'T KNOW WHY?!??!?!?... I mean, why do most of my pictures involve my face in front of my hands like this .... :

Or with me turning around (my beautiful mane-lmao- coming onto the picture).... or me involved in an obscure slightly perverted (not intended that way!) act with a friend who looks as puzzled as me in the photo.... I mean, WHY!?!?!? Maybe, i'm insecure about my face... lol... even i don't believe that... or maybe i think i'm not good looking enuf to be photo'ed.... no thats not the reason either.... the reason is quite simple.....

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STAND FOR A PICTURE....!!!!!!!! (no Amritha, this doesn't mean i'll take a picture wit you if u teach me how to stand for it!!!) I mean, how does a person look at the view finder and not feel like their privacy is being invaded... yes I'M HYPER CLAUSTROPHOBIC.. and i'm glad... because if i was as photo-crazy as them i would be too busy taking photos of myself instead of writing in this blog!!!! :)

Every cloud has a silver lining :)