Ex-am-s-leepy!

We had two exams today and for the first time in my three years of college, i would tell you, i had no clue what i wrote in both my papers. Well, yesterday i spent most of my time online doing mundane things and not really bothering to open my book. Why? Cause my book was blank. I had no notes and had a couple of xerox that i just read thru cause i was falling asleep in the process.

This morning, it actually hit me that i'm about to attempt two tests that i'm totally not prepared for. The exam was at 8 30 and i woke up home at 8. I ran helter skelter and somehow managed to reach college by 8 25. I sat down and wondered what the hell i was going to write. Of course, i knew things here and there but i didn't know anything properly.

So, the first paper was placed in front of me. I saw the subject line 'Corporate Communication'. "I've heard this name somewhere", my brain told me and i churned it only to realise i spent an hour at around 3 in the morning ruffling through pages in my notebook, half asleep, totally disinterested. My eyes scanned the questions. Out of the 15 that was there, i knew 3... totally stretching it that is. The rest, i consented to bullshit.

When you are doing a course a course in journalism it is mandatory that you need to have a special talent of bull shitting or you won't survive. Every single answer in every single paper will have facts and fiction of very extreme sorts. There have been times i've repeated one line around 20 times in the same answer. Anyway, i sharpened my sleep affected brain to face this new obstacle; completing the paper and trying not to fail.

As i put my pen to paper and wrote 'Section A', my bench started shaking violently. I had sudden mental images of an earthquake that reduced the college to rubble and i don't have to continue with the test. But to my utter annoyance and disappointment i found out that the girl next to me was causing all the vibration. I honestly didn't know if she was etching her answers on her paper or writing them. She was literally putting enough pressure on the pen to snap it into two. I waited for her to settle down and after 15 minutes of waiting i came to the conclusion that that's just how she writes. I settled to write my answers amidst shaky grounds.

I started off with whatever i knew and as i wrote i found out that i actually didn't know what i knew. So i bull shitted there too. I wrote in big bold letters and wrote the same things over and over again for every answer. After 5 answers, my brain wanted to rest and hence switched off. Of course, with my brain fast asleep there's not much i can do. So, i resorted to looking at people's faces.

I looked around the class, observing people with their eyes scrunched in concentration, trying to get their answer right. One of my classmates was dancing in her seat, her arms flailing this way and that i found it very funny and stifled a laugh when the invigilator passed by me. Another one was busy applying moisturizer to her leg in the middle of the exam! I mean, what the hell!

My mind then wandered to a romantic song i was listening to last night and it immediately built a love story with an unnamed un faced man. Sigh.. my brain will work for all this only. And i thought it was asleep. Maybe my brain was dreaming.

After wasting another fifteen minutes i somehow managed to persuade my brain to wake up again and remind it that i need atleast 20 marks to pass. So it relented and started coughing back to work.

I wrote another 10 sides and i got tired of it. Totally i had attempted 7 questions. I needed to attempt 3 more. I didn't know any of them. Ok, i thought. 'Tools of Corporate Communication'. I guessed they were stuff like pamplets, newsletters. I vaguely remembered reading those words in a xerox and attempted the answer with great fervor. Halfway through i got confused between a brochure and a pamphlet and switched them. Then i realised what i had done and spent more time correcting that and totally forgot about circulars. Therefore, my answer was kinda complete but half baked.

I had ten more minutes and 2 more answers and i somehow managed to convincingly bull shit that too. I heaved a huge sigh of relief as i quickly exited the hall. I think i'll pass.

My 2nd exam was an hour later. I spent that hour in between with all the notes in my hand, my mind completely elsewhere. I was laughing at one of my classmates who was very seriously trying to mug stuff in the last minute. I spoke to another one, who, like me, was trying to sleep than study. At the end of the hour, i came to a conclusion that today i've gone back to being the old 'me' about studies again.

It was 11 and papers were distributed. The beauty about this exam was that i never knew what subject i was actually writing. I mean, i had the stuff and i knew this was the exam but i didn't know the name. My eyes first went to the name and i memorized it in case someone asked me what exam i wrote.

Then i went about inspecting the paper to realize that I'm actually a little smart (not very, don't worry). I was an economics student in school. And i've done a HR paper in college. Both mixed together and you get media management. I knew a little here and there. And i had enough knowledge of both to crap all i want. I was surprised to find that out of 15 i knew 10 questions. I would pass, i sufficed.

The earthquake writer continued her practice of trying to etch her answers not only on the paper but also on the desk. As i started writing, suddenly my bench shook so violently that all my stuff fell off the table. I turned to find my partner very laboriously rubbing at something that refused to erase. I glared at her and settled down to write again.

Few answers down the line, i was staring at the paper, whilst my mind was contorting monopoly and oligopoly into something extremely weird when i suddenly heard a voice "Where's the paper?". My head snapped up. Paper? Huh? What paper? I wasn't even copying, in my defence. I looked up and saw the invigilator smiling at me. Actually, the lecturer who taught the subject was invigilating and i was wondering if she lost her mind. "What ma'am?", i asked. "HOW's the paper?", she said slowly. "Very easy ma'am.", i replied. "Really? Then all of you will get above 90?". I sealed my lips shut and nodded, smiling in between. She walked away, satisfied.

Well, i don't know about 90 but i guessed everyone in the class would pass since the paper was easy enough. I finished the paper in 45 minutes flat. I looked around and saw everyone else writing.

I didn't know what to write. I check and double checked and triple checked and counted out the number of answers loudly, awakening my partner from her concentrated writing. Then i got fed up of not knowing what to do and decided to give up my paper. I was just tying my paper when i heard a loud "AAAAAAAAAAAchoooooooooooo" and my paper went flying from my hands to the ground.

Sigh... a perfect soggy ending to an amazing story.

Today's lesson: My partner is a walking natural disaster. Not only cam she produce earthquakes, she could whip up a tornado also.