What an idiot! :P (Don't kill me!!)


I have a friend... who is obsessed with the word 'Idiot'. She uses it for everything and anything and anyone and everyone (yes, including our HOD.. just not in front of her!). Recently she had asked me to fill her slam book (which she dearly regretted later...) and she wanted a long entry. The problem was, i wrote 7 sides. Yes, long enough. Do you agree? But she doesn't. Apparently there was nothing about her in the entry!!

Here's my defence. If you are stuck in a seminar about Feminism on a lovely Saturday morning from 9 till 5 and someone asked you to fill in their slam book what would you write? I gave her intricate details of the seminar :P combined with some random lines like "Oh.. they've just switched off the lights and so my handwriting may get awry... kindly excuse.. ahh! lights are back again and so i'll try to continue neatly". I say people don't appreciate true creativity. They want stuff like "you are sweet, cute, intelligent, nice, amazing, friendly, helpfu.... yadda yadda" load of adjectives with a smiley at the end. If she fit any of those adjectives i'd have written them! I just cannot lie!! hahahahaaha (don't kill me... again)

Anyway, because of that 7 side entry this girl has overused the word 'idiot' on me. Here's a conversation before an exam:

Me: Hey A
A: Idiot

Me: Did you study?
A: No idiot

Me: Do you know the portions
A: Idiot no

Me: Can you ask someone and tell me?
A: I'll try idiot

Me: And don't study too much
A: Idiot!!!!

Me: How many times will you use that word?
A: As long as needed idiot!

Me: How long is that?
A: You are wasting time idiot

Me: I don't know what to study. That's why i called.
A: Call someone else idiot.

Me: Who else?
A: Someone else. I'm keeping the phone idiot.

Me: Ok bye!
A: Bye idiot.

You see what i mean? Every single sentence has an idiot attached to it !!!! Moreover, it's not just when she speaks. The idioculosis that she suffers from has also spread to her sms's!!!!

I messaged her at midnight before an exam when i was too bored to study.

"Hey how much over, nerd?" (Yes, btw, she's the dept's best outgoing student and world's biggest nerd!)

She replies "Not yet started idiot!!" (Always followed by 3 !!!s)

"Oh and you want me to believe that?", i ask.

"I'm disussing sun signs with my friend", she says (for once there is no idiot in the msg. "Phew!" i think)

"Tell me something about cancerians", i prod

"Cancerians are idiots!!! who don't study and refuse to let others study too", came the reply, after which i stopped messaging her due to a sudden urge to protect a non-existant self-respect.

Our conversations after that night have been limited to "Hi's" and "Idiot"s (her language for "hi")

But i tell you, this girl never learns. Today she again gives me her slam book and says "this time atleast fill it with sense"... muhahahahaha... like i can ever write something that doesn't hav sarcasm dripping from it. And this was a typical slambook with 'what is your favourite colour' types... and i went on a roll... AGAIN...and after i finished i handed it over to her..

She poured over it... and i saw her face contort into various undecipherable emotions... and then she looked up at me.... i was baring all my teeth smiling at her (Rather scarily, i must add here!)

Her lips quivered... "There it comes", i thought... "I....I.....I........I...... It's funny!", she burst out laughing....

I was at a loss for words... for once... and then the colossal ending came...

"IDIOT!!! (THREE !!!.. .very important)... she shouted at me, throwing a chalk piece in my direction.... (which missed me, btw)

60 comments:

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ aruna

only rashmi is allowed to call me useless.. plagiarism!!! have some originality girl!!

Lucifer said...

my sis is not an idiot!!!

Lucifer said...

ok sometimes...:P

Mayank said...

lolz...!!! :D funny read after such a long time! :D please dont deprive blogsville of your posts for long! :)

Rash said...

Hahahahahah!!
This is sooooooo funny :D
U really are USELESS Anusha! :)

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ mayz

how mean!! for a minute i thot u actually supported me :(

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ dum d

thank u so much :) and sorry i haven't been able to update for long... will try to b more regular..

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ rash

yes u r copyrighted to use.. doesn't mean u shud :P

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ thoorika

don do too much ok.. then i will repeat entry in valedictory function tomorrow for u!!! nonsense!!!

Elithraniel Arawion said...

@ aruna

gazing lovingly into hod's eyes is what u do the whole day.. she refuses to make eye contact wit me coz she has eyes for only u dear :P ... and moreover, don't turn my bro against me ok... UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW he's nice :P and intelligent

Arv said...

romba kashtam :p

Nikhil Menon said...

I wish u wer an idiot now.. :( but the fact tht u arent,makes me a lot more happy..(know why??) Say a hello to miss.Idioculosis.. ;p

BTW,looks like u have deserted my space.. :(

Nikhil

Dhanya said...

Lol @ idiot. Many have the term 'yaar' prefixed or postfixed to their sentences too nowadays! 'No yaar', 'Yaar, I haven't had lunch yet' 'What is this yaaaaaar?'... *sigh*

Anonymous said...

rofl!!!!

i'd love to see the contents of both slambooks which btw i dont know what they are.

Anonymous said...

once again.....hilarious...
i can't help it...but i must say...ur soooo GOOOOOD :D

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