Posted by Elithraniel Arawion on Monday, March 23, 2009
I have a friend... who is obsessed with the word 'Idiot'. She uses it for everything and anything and anyone and everyone (yes, including our HOD.. just not in front of her!). Recently she had asked me to fill her slam book (which she dearly regretted later...) and she wanted a long entry. The problem was, i wrote 7 sides. Yes, long enough. Do you agree? But she doesn't. Apparently there was nothing about her in the entry!!
Here's my defence. If you are stuck in a seminar about Feminism on a lovely Saturday morning from 9 till 5 and someone asked you to fill in their slam book what would you write? I gave her intricate details of the seminar :P combined with some random lines like "Oh.. they've just switched off the lights and so my handwriting may get awry... kindly excuse.. ahh! lights are back again and so i'll try to continue neatly". I say people don't appreciate true creativity. They want stuff like "you are sweet, cute, intelligent, nice, amazing, friendly, helpfu.... yadda yadda" load of adjectives with a smiley at the end. If she fit any of those adjectives i'd have written them! I just cannot lie!! hahahahaaha (don't kill me... again)
Anyway, because of that 7 side entry this girl has overused the word 'idiot' on me. Here's a conversation before an exam:
Me: Hey A
Me: Did you study?
A: No idiot
Me: Do you know the portions
A: Idiot no
Me: Can you ask someone and tell me?
A: I'll try idiot
Me: And don't study too much
Me: How many times will you use that word?
A: As long as needed idiot!
Me: How long is that?
A: You are wasting time idiot
Me: I don't know what to study. That's why i called.
A: Call someone else idiot.
Me: Who else?
A: Someone else. I'm keeping the phone idiot.
Me: Ok bye!
A: Bye idiot.
You see what i mean? Every single sentence has an idiot attached to it !!!! Moreover, it's not just when she speaks. The idioculosis that she suffers from has also spread to her sms's!!!!
I messaged her at midnight before an exam when i was too bored to study.
"Hey how much over, nerd?" (Yes, btw, she's the dept's best outgoing student and world's biggest nerd!)
She replies "Not yet started idiot!!" (Always followed by 3 !!!s)
"Oh and you want me to believe that?", i ask.
"I'm disussing sun signs with my friend", she says (for once there is no idiot in the msg. "Phew!" i think)
"Tell me something about cancerians", i prod
"Cancerians are idiots!!! who don't study and refuse to let others study too", came the reply, after which i stopped messaging her due to a sudden urge to protect a non-existant self-respect.
Our conversations after that night have been limited to "Hi's" and "Idiot"s (her language for "hi")
But i tell you, this girl never learns. Today she again gives me her slam book and says "this time atleast fill it with sense"... muhahahahaha... like i can ever write something that doesn't hav sarcasm dripping from it. And this was a typical slambook with 'what is your favourite colour' types... and i went on a roll... AGAIN...and after i finished i handed it over to her..
She poured over it... and i saw her face contort into various undecipherable emotions... and then she looked up at me.... i was baring all my teeth smiling at her (Rather scarily, i must add here!)
Her lips quivered... "There it comes", i thought... "I....I.....I........I...... It's funny!", she burst out laughing....
I was at a loss for words... for once... and then the colossal ending came...
"IDIOT!!! (THREE !!!.. .very important)... she shouted at me, throwing a chalk piece in my direction.... (which missed me, btw)