Posted by Elithraniel Arawion on Monday, March 9, 2009
Your father gives you directions...
Hey all.. i wasn't around for a while.. and now i'm back... with another story on my dad ;) .. boy the stories just keep coming don't they.. not anything for him to feel happy about but still... :P
Yesterday i had to go to the doctor (no no, not my dad.. another one) and i didn't know the way. My father prides himself in his directional skills and offered to tell me the way to the doc's place.. here's the conversation..
Dad: Do you have the written address?
Dad: Do you know where it is?
Dad: Do you know your name?
Me: I think so..
Dad: Don't irritate.. now i wil tell you only once.. listen carefully.. and repeat after me
Me: Don't irritate... now i wil tell you only once.. listen carefully.. and repeat after me
(Dad gives look)
Dad: Walk straight
Me: Walk straight
Dad: Ok don't repeat after me. I will give you accurate directions now.. listen and if u get lost, call me on the way
Me: Done. Now give me the directions before he closes his clinic for the day
Dad: Don't mock me or i won't tell you the address
Me: sigh.... i give up
Dad: Ok listen
Dad: Walk straight
Me: You already mentioned this part
Dad: Oh... then somewhere there take a left. Go staight one right will come
Me: Only one right ?
Dad: Actually many.. but you choose one. . then go down that.. there will be some supermarket.. i think near that will be a left turn.. take that.. keep walking and you will find his house on ur left... no right... actually depends which direction ur coming from.. hmmm..
Me: These are accurate directions?
Dad: What am i? A GPS?.. i helped you best i could.. now scoot.. and call me if you are lost
(Me gets lost in two mins.. calls dad)
Me: Pa.. i'm lost
Dad: Hello, lost. Is my daughter around?
Me: !!!!! Stop cracking jokes.. now tell me the way
Dad: How can i tell you when i don't know where you are?
Me: I walked straight took a left and took a right.. now i don't know where i am
Dad: Which right did you take?
Me: I don't remember
Dad: Then how can i help you? Is there a supermarket around there somewhere?
Me: Umm.... no... not a big one
Dad: Then come out of that right and take the next right..
Me: Will the supermarket be in the next right?
Dad: Only one way to find out...
Dad: See.. first you don't listen to me.. then you don't follow my directions.. and now you shout at me after getting lost.. i'm keeping the phone now.. don't disturb.. i'm very busy...
Me: Doing what?
Dad: I found a chocolate bar in your room...
Me: Don't tell me you are eating it!!!!
Dad: I think i just opened it and put one half into my mouth
Me: Why are you stealing your daughter's food?
Dad: Cause i felt like stealing a candy from a baby..
Me: Ok please tell me how to get to the clinic..
Dad: Ask people around for the supermarket dumbo.. now keep the phone.. i promise i'll send a search party if you don't call me back in half hour..
Half hour later... Dad calls
Dad: Where art thou?
Me: I don't know
Dad: Still searching?
Dad: I just found a packet of lays in your bag... (sings) no one can eat just one
END OF STORY
Moral of the story: Never leave your room unprotected from a parent... Especially one that loves junk food as much as you do...
P.S: I managed to reach the doc's clinic 45 minutes late..