Kandhasaamy review

Father P's one word reviews without even watching the movie!

Father P comes this evening while my cousin discusses the sad movie that is Kandhasaamy with me. He asks "how's the movie?".. my cousin goes "horrible".

Father P goes "It must've been named 'Kandhal' ('in pieces' in Tamil) saamy'

Cousin is awe-struck...

---------------------------------------------the end-----------------------------------------------

World's best daughter

Father P and I this morning just as i was shoving down food in a hurry to catch the train to college.

Father P: How's the food, edible?

Me: Dad, you be the best in the world except when you bug me

Father P: When is that?

Me: 90% of the time

Father P: Oh. You be the best daughter in the world even when you bug me.

Me: *smugly and tad sentily* ha! How often is that?

Father P: All the time!

The memory

Father P is a practical man. Extremely methodical to the point of being obsessive compulsive and i am the exact opposite. So everyday he tries to tell me to fill water without spilling a lake of water. He walks to me as i fill yesterday and does a hip shake and says "Don't spill water".

Continues to shake hip til he reaches chair.

I am speechless.

"Why did u just do that?"

"For effect. You'll fill prop from tomorrow", he says

"How is that an effect? and how would that make me do it properly?" I am genuinely puzzled

"Well... you'll never forget that dance. And u'd do it properly coz u never want to see it again"

Tag

I was tagged by Venky and Iysh.. so i'll do it

:)

4 places I've lived in :

Royapettah, Lloyds Road, Gopalapuram and Royapettah high road (Same road :P)

4 TV shows that I like to watch :

Friends, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes and Buffy when it aired :(

4 places that I've been to, on vacation :

Calcutta, Munnar, Thekkadi and Ooty

4 Favourite food items :

• Pasta, Curd rice and lime pickle ( :P ), Frankie (vaishuuuu i miss our frankie escapades :() and Tandoori

4 places I would rather be :

• Venice
• Paris
• Egypt
• Rome

4 websites that I visit everyday :

• Facebook
• Twitter
• My blog
• Hotmail

4 things that I hope to do before I die :

• Visit every country in the world
• A world cruise
• My last yr's b'day gift promised by a frnd who still hasn't done it :( (Dam him)
• Publish a travel magazine :P

4 novels I wish I was reading for the first time :

• A Thousand Splendid Suns
• Brida
• Twilight
• My diary :P hahahahaha

4 movies that I can watch over and over again... :

• The Notebook
• I now pronounce you chuck and larry
• The Hangover
• Transformers

Perils of the Scarlet Pimple

(In pic: a 21 g.. that is good bus.. very frequent... not a pimple pain :P )

What do you do when you have to travel at 7 in the morning everyday to a place that is 40 minutes away and the only bus that can take you there is an elusive old wuss? (Disclaimer: Children, please don't show this post to your parents or you'll be barred from further communication with me :P ).

5C has been a part of my life for the last 3 years. Actually, i ve wanted it to be an integral part of my life (it is the only bleddy bus that goes from mount road to taramani in one stretch) but it has evaded me and shown severel signs of disinterest in my proposal. The damn bus is so elusive, i've decided to call it The Scarlet Pimple (coz calling it Pimpernal would be an insult to the real Percy Blakeney and the bus is a pain.. like a burst pimple! Hence, the reference).

The last two days of waiting for the bus have been particularly frustrating and it is soooo evident that the bus hates me! :(

Day 1

7 : 15 - Idly (my friend who will hence be called this as she loves idlis and her names rhymes with it) and I were at the bus stop waiting for 5 c

7: 20 - Still waiting

7: 25 - Still waiting

7: 30 - Still waiting (at this point i sit and slightly doze off)

7:35 - Running late.. still waiting

7:38 - Fed up. Idly and i catch an auto to the MRTS station.

7:40 - At the junction, a 5 five minute walk from the bus stop we just ditched, we prepare to turn just as we catch a glimpse of the elusive pimple. We call an emergency rush and ask the auto wallah to 'rush forward in full speed to 5 c's next stop'.

7: 45 - We are at the next stop

7: 48 - We realise we missed the bus and catch another auto to the train station mumbling curse words.

Day 2

7:20 - Idly and i walking towards bus stop and spot 5 c just stopping.

7: 21 - Run frantically towards the stop, signalling with hands and feet and whatever we else we could do

7:22 - The bus goes past us and the driver sneers, not stopping to give 2 poor children a lift.

7:23 - "Ass, bleddy dog, stupid bus.. i pray you have a breakdown and whichever stop u stop at noone wil get on and everyone will signal u to stop in the middle of the road and then show u middle finger when u stop", Idly mumbles

7:25 - We wait

7: 30 - Waiting

7:35 - Waiting

7:37 - "I don't think we'll get another one so soon. Let's walk to the junction and take a bus to the train station. Will save us time and we wont waste money like yest"

7:40 - We at the junction.

7:40 and 35 seconds (i think) - We turn and see 5 c AGAIN goin towards the stop.

7: 41 - "STTOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP" we yell, running towards the stop in full speed, trying to race the bus to the stop.

7:42 - Bus reaches stop before us. We run. People watch. We still run.

7:43 - We step on the bus and it takes off.

7:44 - "I think we just woke up alot of ppl on the that road", idly says. "We should've yelled good morning instead", i comment.

7:55 - Bus picks up girl from the middle of the road. "See this guy is nice. I hope that fellow has a breakdown and has to stay there for hours", Idly curses again.

7:58 - "Write blog post on this. Everyone needs to know how much we suffer", idly says, adding "And put my quotes in it"

9 pm - I oblige.

Investment and father p

Father P walks into room and sees my haircut

FP: Wow.. makeover eh? How much did you blow?

Me: 700

FP: For this? I knew a 1000 rs note was missing from my purse this morning. Sigh.. whatever for? Trying to impress someone?

Me: Yeah. Trying to get a boyfriend

FP: Then my money didn't go in vain. Catch one soon. *pats my back* All the best.

Me: Money didn't go in vain??

FP: It's an investment. If i invest 1000 now i save many thousands later. Coz if you get committed that poor soul will spend and i can save some cash atlast. Yay!

Me: New age dad eh?

FP: Nahh.. just a smart one.. :P

Imagination on an over drive

You know those days your imagination is on an overdrive? Today was one of those days when you have non existant conversations with your cosmetics :|

This evening as i went to wash my face, i was struck my dilemma. I have 2 face washes; dove (which i purchased recently) and garnier. Ever since i bought dove, i've been using it and i've ignored poor garnier.

Statutory warning : Use cushion while hitting head against wall. It will help you vent steam and prevent excessive bleeding.

Today in the bath:

Me: *thinking* Let me use garnier today. Long time. Poor thing must b pissed with me.

*I pick up the garnier tube*

Dove: Hey, what are you doing? why are you using him?

Me: C'mon. I haven't used him in a while. Let me just use him today to show him that i still remember he is there.

Dove: Oh, like that? *winks* ok ok carry on

Garnier: Hullow. I'm right here. In your hand. Could you atleast like respect my feelings and bitch about me BEHIND MY BACK?

Me: Oops.. sorry.. *puts dove away* don't worry. I was just saying that to cool her off. Or she won't lather properly tomorrow.

Garnier: Excuse me! You just hurt my feelings. I wont either. Hmmmpf!

Me: Well, suit yourself. If you don't, then i use her and ignore you for life and throw you out when you expire.

Garnier: *shocked* you wouldn't dare!

Me: I don't want to remind you about the garnier conditioner that i never used last year.

Garnier: *gasps* oh yeah. The horror! He.... just..... expired... *bows head* may he rest in peace *Wails*

*Rubs a lil bit of gel on my hand and massage my face*

Me: Dude, your wasted. I dont' feel fresh at all

Garnier: I'm a face wash not a face fresh

Me: Wow. Nice comeback, Einstein.

Garnier: You just shattered my self confidence

Dove: I didn't know you had any

Garnier: You don't talk.... you... you... you... bird!

Dove: Is that the best you can do?

Me: Ok that's enough

Garnier: So who wins?

Dove: Me, like DUH!

Me: No

Dove: What? Then you pick HIM?

Me: *sighs* I'm buying lakme 'pure defence' tomorrow!

Lethal weapon!

This afternoon while i was shopping with Father P, i found out the reason why most sons in india grow up afraid of their mom, atleast until they introduce their girlfriends to her :P .

And no, Father P will not steal any credit for this post (hmmmpf! *mumbles* i give him little space and he overtakes me!)

Errr... anyway..getting back...

At the billing counter, i am waiting as father p examines all those necessary things (like biscuits, tortilla chips, jalepeno conserve) that i snuck into the shopping cart when he wasn't looking, so that the billing can happen when a small boy and his dad were getting their stuff billed. And they broke out into an arguement. He was clutching a kurkure packet to his chest protectively, protesting and throwing a fit about keeping it back.

The father first tells him calmly that he's not going to buy it, then a little stern. Then shouts at his son. He tries to grab the bag but the boy dodges and the rest of us snigger, much to the embarrassment of the father. (Here Father P says : Don't laugh. You were much worse when you were a kid. I was so embarrassed, i wouldn't even take you out of the house half the time coz u made such a rucous everywhere!) Ahemm..

So the father tries various means but the boy holds a death grip on the chips packet. Finally, his father used a lethal weapon

"If you don't put that down now, i'll tell your mother", he said, puffing his chest and pretending to call out to his wife

The boy's expression changed instantly from defiance to surrender. He meekly let the father pull the packet away from him and put it back on the rack. When the father came back to pay, he pulled at his sleeve. The father looked down.

"I gave it back. Don't tell mother ok? Promise?"

SNUBBED AGAIN

Me: Dad, people think what i write on my blog is all made up

Father P: It isn't?

Me: They mean the conversations we have

Father P: Well.. i just have one thing to say about that

Me: And that is?

Father P: The ones where i snub you alone are true. The rest... well... god only knows!

Me: Thanks :|

Father P's day

When this daughter completely forgets about father's day, Father P is upset. Then she remembers it today and decides to wish him a belated father's day

Me: Belated Father's day wishes

Father P: That's it? No gift?

Me: I got myself 2 pair of jeans

Father P: How is that a gift?

Me: I didn't make you to spend on it.

Father P: How considerate of you. Anyway, thank you for not remembering. What's the point of writing about me on your blog, making me famous and then forgetting me on father's day.

Me: I didn't forget you. I just forgot Father's day. By the way, we need to pay college fees today.

Father P: *mumbles* And i thought i didn't have to spend. Hey, didn't you say some friend of yours got spot selected for the course?

Me: Yeah. Your daughter wasn't one of those spot selected candidates though.

Father P: You don't have to tell me. I know how brilliant you are. I just wish.... sighh. no point..

Me: Wish what?

Father P: That i could've spot selected my daughter. Mind you, you wouldn't have even been shortlisted for the post.

Me: Oh and what questions would you ask them when they came for the interview?

Father P: That's easy. Just two. Both questions to which you don't know the answer to. "When is my birthday?" and "When is Father's day?"

Me: *shakes head* sigh!